macaroni69
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2014
- Messages
- 3
Hey, first post, just spent an hour writing out a detailed experience but lost it when I tried to post so I'm going to rewrite a summarised version.
I have what I would say is a low to medium tolerance with mdma. Havent had any full blown experiences mainly just average. Never get come downs and have never had any bad after effects.
I went to a large music festival and got a hold of 350mg of what was claimed to be straight and as pure as mdma can get off a good friend who I'd previously got stuff off, but he claims this is an even better batch.
I start off with 150mg orally, rolling pretty hard after an hour , 2 hours after being up I have a 50-75mg line, brings me back up to my peak again and I'm experiencing all the best effects mdma is known for, pretty munted.
Around another two hours later after feeling the effects dying down l decide to have another 150mg, this is where things went bad. In a crowd of around 10,000 people I'm watching my favourite artist, im up and rolling crazy hard, kind of sloppy but still in control. Around 20 minutes in theres a breakdown in the music and a crazily bright slow fading strobe comes on (In a pitch black warehouse) and after a few flashes it starts to fuck with me, I look at my friend and he notices I'm munted and he starts to move his head around in weird positions and I see very slow distinct trails following his head which horrifys me as everything around me goes black and terrifying. I grab him and he sees the terror on my face as I tell him to get me out which he does, everyone i walk past in the crowd has distorted and evil looking faces. I get outside into the sunlight and I'm still rolling hard and terrified but the visual distortions are gone. This was similiar to an acid experience I've had
I spend the rest of the day pretty floored, feeling good but not as much energy and my jaw is literally shaking up and down like crazy, my eyes are wide open, I am seeing colours/patterns and things are breathing.
I get back to my hotel and am still seeing slight patterns and colours on blank walls. When I tried to sleep in the dark I was seeing very vivid colours and patterns everywhere, similiar to a mild acid trip. I dont get to sleep for 6 hours later because of the distraction of all the visuals. So I dropped around 2pm in the day and went to bed at 12am and the visuals were still going crazy.
The next 3 days at home are hell. Everything seems surreal, i feel like things move around me, when i blink things get closer and further away, things seem like they distort in the corner in my eye and when I walk around I feel dizzy and unbalanced like the world around me isnt stable. I've researched this to be derealization?
After these 3 days I'm feeling slightly better, things arent as surreal. My main problems are that I can't read properly due to not being able to concentrate, I cant keep focused when in a conversation and can barely hold it, i can still see slight colours on walls when I look close, when in a room relaxing things seem like they can move, just an eerie kind of feeling. Really bad visual coloured snow when I sleep aswell. And a lot of eye floaters.
About a month later im feeling alot better, still seeing snow, things arent surreal, still have bad eye floaters, still feel a slight eeriness when in a room relaxing and sometimes feel like things move in the corner of my eye. The worst thing is realised when I begin uni. When in a lecture hall I notice that bright lights get burnt into my eyesight for quite some time if I glimpse at them, like when you look at the sun, but happening alot more intensely than before. I nearly have to walk out of my lecture hall because of so many lights above me imprinting into my vision and making me see colours on the walls which freaks me out. When looking at the projectors image on the wall i can also see it distort and move until I concentrate. At this point I'm dreading every class I have in one of these walls and worry its going to effect my ability to do uni.
These effects at uni dim down after a bit over a week. A month later and im feeling 95%, the only effects left is some visual snow, (decreased) eye floaters, the occasional feeling of an object moving in my peripheral vision and one that is really bugging me is sometimes when I go bed and feel paranoid, im alert to every little noise and i get paranoid that someones there. I've also smoked weed twice since the experience, both times after a month from it happening, and it brings on a lot of visual snow so bad it interupts my eyesight, its quite colourful. Every time I've smoked has also seemed to set me back a week into the recovery process.
I havent done mdma or any other drug other than weed since the experience. I also wear contact lenses, not sure if that can contribute anything to the visuals. My uncle also got schizophrenia after a lot of hard drug abuse which I was scared I had triggered.
So what I'd like to know:
General feedback on my experience?
Could HPPD be a contributing factor to the after effects?
What can I do to get back to 100% quicker?
What did I do wrong?
Can I do mdma again? how long should i wait? (definately not til im back to 100% )
Should I see a doctor
Thanks to anyone who bothered reading this and can offer advice.
I have what I would say is a low to medium tolerance with mdma. Havent had any full blown experiences mainly just average. Never get come downs and have never had any bad after effects.
I went to a large music festival and got a hold of 350mg of what was claimed to be straight and as pure as mdma can get off a good friend who I'd previously got stuff off, but he claims this is an even better batch.
I start off with 150mg orally, rolling pretty hard after an hour , 2 hours after being up I have a 50-75mg line, brings me back up to my peak again and I'm experiencing all the best effects mdma is known for, pretty munted.
Around another two hours later after feeling the effects dying down l decide to have another 150mg, this is where things went bad. In a crowd of around 10,000 people I'm watching my favourite artist, im up and rolling crazy hard, kind of sloppy but still in control. Around 20 minutes in theres a breakdown in the music and a crazily bright slow fading strobe comes on (In a pitch black warehouse) and after a few flashes it starts to fuck with me, I look at my friend and he notices I'm munted and he starts to move his head around in weird positions and I see very slow distinct trails following his head which horrifys me as everything around me goes black and terrifying. I grab him and he sees the terror on my face as I tell him to get me out which he does, everyone i walk past in the crowd has distorted and evil looking faces. I get outside into the sunlight and I'm still rolling hard and terrified but the visual distortions are gone. This was similiar to an acid experience I've had
I spend the rest of the day pretty floored, feeling good but not as much energy and my jaw is literally shaking up and down like crazy, my eyes are wide open, I am seeing colours/patterns and things are breathing.
I get back to my hotel and am still seeing slight patterns and colours on blank walls. When I tried to sleep in the dark I was seeing very vivid colours and patterns everywhere, similiar to a mild acid trip. I dont get to sleep for 6 hours later because of the distraction of all the visuals. So I dropped around 2pm in the day and went to bed at 12am and the visuals were still going crazy.
The next 3 days at home are hell. Everything seems surreal, i feel like things move around me, when i blink things get closer and further away, things seem like they distort in the corner in my eye and when I walk around I feel dizzy and unbalanced like the world around me isnt stable. I've researched this to be derealization?
After these 3 days I'm feeling slightly better, things arent as surreal. My main problems are that I can't read properly due to not being able to concentrate, I cant keep focused when in a conversation and can barely hold it, i can still see slight colours on walls when I look close, when in a room relaxing things seem like they can move, just an eerie kind of feeling. Really bad visual coloured snow when I sleep aswell. And a lot of eye floaters.
About a month later im feeling alot better, still seeing snow, things arent surreal, still have bad eye floaters, still feel a slight eeriness when in a room relaxing and sometimes feel like things move in the corner of my eye. The worst thing is realised when I begin uni. When in a lecture hall I notice that bright lights get burnt into my eyesight for quite some time if I glimpse at them, like when you look at the sun, but happening alot more intensely than before. I nearly have to walk out of my lecture hall because of so many lights above me imprinting into my vision and making me see colours on the walls which freaks me out. When looking at the projectors image on the wall i can also see it distort and move until I concentrate. At this point I'm dreading every class I have in one of these walls and worry its going to effect my ability to do uni.
These effects at uni dim down after a bit over a week. A month later and im feeling 95%, the only effects left is some visual snow, (decreased) eye floaters, the occasional feeling of an object moving in my peripheral vision and one that is really bugging me is sometimes when I go bed and feel paranoid, im alert to every little noise and i get paranoid that someones there. I've also smoked weed twice since the experience, both times after a month from it happening, and it brings on a lot of visual snow so bad it interupts my eyesight, its quite colourful. Every time I've smoked has also seemed to set me back a week into the recovery process.
I havent done mdma or any other drug other than weed since the experience. I also wear contact lenses, not sure if that can contribute anything to the visuals. My uncle also got schizophrenia after a lot of hard drug abuse which I was scared I had triggered.
So what I'd like to know:
General feedback on my experience?
Could HPPD be a contributing factor to the after effects?
What can I do to get back to 100% quicker?
What did I do wrong?
Can I do mdma again? how long should i wait? (definately not til im back to 100% )
Should I see a doctor
Thanks to anyone who bothered reading this and can offer advice.