Literally_nethng
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2020
- Messages
- 30
I had been doing heroin for about 4 or months, not huge doses or anything, I was going for pain relief but that takes more willpower than I had.
I tapered down for like, 6 weeks. Finally said fuck this (the timing wasn't going to line up to get more, and my husband was very angry and scared and it was hurting our relationship), and took a few days off work plus the weekend. Did poppy tea no more than 2x a day, second time a rinse. I hate the way it tastes so it wasn't hard to put down after about 3 days and ride the rest out.
I have also been using ice, speedballing a little when I'd get the nods at work. I got more of that, and haven't taken any since yesterday.
Last day for heroin was about 10 days, although I had a premixed shot stored I did last night. Bad day.
The heroin got me off the booze, I'm still not sure what to do about my pain issues except suck it up.
My best friend got mad at me, he won't say why. We had an affair about a year ago, didn't talk for 3 months, but had restarted as friends about 6 months ago and were making plans when he just said nope, and hasn't responded yet. My brother, who is a heroin addict most of the time, is doing his 120 shock in prison on Friday (one week).
My husband doesn't understand the addict life, so he's next to worthless for help. As likely to get mad as be a sympathetic ear.
I lost my support system. I feel like I should be celebrating my ability to put down my crutch so soon (honestly I really fucking hate meth. It served it's minimum purpose so bye.), but my emotions are all over the place.
I'm desperately sad and confused about what the fuck my friend is mad about, and my bro and I just got close after years of barely speaking. I keep having panic attacks, and I'm about a 4 on the relapse scale.
But hey, you know what? I'm still fucking doing it. I made it through. Im going to keep making it. Just lord keep me off the alcohol please. Right now I really hate life. I hope this gets better.
I tapered down for like, 6 weeks. Finally said fuck this (the timing wasn't going to line up to get more, and my husband was very angry and scared and it was hurting our relationship), and took a few days off work plus the weekend. Did poppy tea no more than 2x a day, second time a rinse. I hate the way it tastes so it wasn't hard to put down after about 3 days and ride the rest out.
I have also been using ice, speedballing a little when I'd get the nods at work. I got more of that, and haven't taken any since yesterday.
Last day for heroin was about 10 days, although I had a premixed shot stored I did last night. Bad day.
The heroin got me off the booze, I'm still not sure what to do about my pain issues except suck it up.
My best friend got mad at me, he won't say why. We had an affair about a year ago, didn't talk for 3 months, but had restarted as friends about 6 months ago and were making plans when he just said nope, and hasn't responded yet. My brother, who is a heroin addict most of the time, is doing his 120 shock in prison on Friday (one week).
My husband doesn't understand the addict life, so he's next to worthless for help. As likely to get mad as be a sympathetic ear.
I lost my support system. I feel like I should be celebrating my ability to put down my crutch so soon (honestly I really fucking hate meth. It served it's minimum purpose so bye.), but my emotions are all over the place.
I'm desperately sad and confused about what the fuck my friend is mad about, and my bro and I just got close after years of barely speaking. I keep having panic attacks, and I'm about a 4 on the relapse scale.
But hey, you know what? I'm still fucking doing it. I made it through. Im going to keep making it. Just lord keep me off the alcohol please. Right now I really hate life. I hope this gets better.
