Recovery The 2024 Recovery Thread

[kiely]

I was told today that sometimes bad experiences need time to heal, and that one should be patient and give time to recover. In fact, I do feel like I'm recovering. It's just not substance related.
But I can see how I'm slowly beginning to heal, but that there's also moments when I feel I'm at square one again.

That is definitely need for Trauma and Recover support. I support you for your

Health and Recovery most definitely.

And others always try their hardest to help as well.

 

[lecroute]

You didn't explain anything, honestly

Eventually I will decide to share my drug-unrelated story in a drug recovery thread. Or to do it in another thread. Or not at all.

I guess I already left hints here and there.

For the moment I just feel like writing down the little steps I'm taking to become an independent person again with a life worth living.

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

I was told today that sometimes bad experiences need time to heal, and that one should be patient and give time to recover. In fact, I do feel like I'm recovering. It's just not substance related.
But I can see how I'm slowly beginning to heal, but that there's also moments when I feel I'm at square one again.

Oh yes ma’am … healing isn’t linear.
Also depending on what you’re healing from … healing can be like peeling back layers of an onion (if that makes any sense) … I’m sleep deprived so I maybe can better explain it later. But either way I’m a ‘trying to be’ survivor of some pretty horrific shit to be honest with you & sometimes I’m pretty open about it. If you ever need to reach out & talk about it this is a good thread to do so (only when or if you’re comfortable or ready).
Healing can take a VERY long time but then there’s days where you’re like “Woah I can’t believe how far I’ve come” & … some days it’s two steps forward, some days it’s two steps back. I call it doing the cha cha
Gentle hug amiga

 

[kiely]

I was told today that sometimes bad experiences need time to heal, and that one should be patient and give time to recover. In fact, I do feel like I'm recovering. It's just not substance related.
But I can see how I'm slowly beginning to heal, but that there's also moments when I feel I'm at square one again.

Recovery does take time and patients and support is so comforting too. We all try to work through it somehow. It is good to share help and ideas.

@tokayeahok keeps it rolling real well too. And such . . . . and awesome support system too and has backup knowledge and is

always most helpful with everything, in my book !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank You.

 

[Jnowhere]

Ah, tokayeahok is a guy.

 

[Puff]

Wow, trying to get sober while in less than ideal conditions, keep up staying sober and good luck.
Sorry, I don't have any good advice on how to relax your mind. I am not the relaxed type. My mental health isn't exactly ideal.

Thank you for your answer. Just trying to survive and not spend all say watching the news.

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

Thank you for your answer. Just trying to survive and not spend all say watching the news.

Do you like to watch funny stuff? Maybe it could help a little if anything just to make you smile … I don’t know, I try to do that sometimes. I feel like even if I’m all stressed out & stuff, even that couple minutes I laugh is good for the soul or something

 

[Puff]

Do you like to watch funny stuff? Maybe it could help a little if anything just to make you smile … I don’t know, I try to do that sometimes. I feel like even if I’m all stressed out & stuff, even that couple minutes I laugh is good for the soul or something

That is a good idea. I use to watch and listen to funny songs.

 

[kiely]

Recovery does take time and patients and support is so comforting too. We all try to work through it somehow. It is good to share help and ideas.

@tokayeahok keeps it rolling real well too. She is awesome support system too and has backup knowledge and is

always most helpful with everything, in my book !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank You.

Yes but Angels isn't and I am very very dyslexic. And I DO know this as do you !!!!!!! And I even said why the fuck did I write she. There is no way. He's way guy like to me. And this is what I am talking about. WTF help me I fuckin wannna cry cry . My brain has been doing this bad..cc. bad for two weeks. Mf even caught it too and tried to HELP. I know I am doing it but I can't stop it.

I'm so confused. I don't know if it is electromagnetic flares coming out of the sun or what. Seeee. I am all dumb and stupid. I threw a whole can of red bull out yesterday or two days ago when I went looking for it.

I keep fucking up with information and I can't finish sentences. Like I almost couldn't remember that. He She then you gotta spell right tooo.

Thanks for catching that but I knew I spelled He fucking wrong. But can I remember to finish a sentence or to go back and correct my spelling.'

yeh where's fucking spell check when ya need it.

You know I don't even know if I'm going to make it. I dont !!!!!n Or what Ummm gonna do now.

it s fuckin horrrile. Thank you for your time and your correct spelling. Do you think She will forgive me.

I wouldn't forgive me either for being a fuckin dumb ass dunce. My brains just a stupid cramp

 

[kiely]

and i never got my red bull back either and i'm still pissed about it.

But . . . I am going to go back in and change that because I love and want to represent @tokayeahok 's being a part of this community and as being such a tremendously supportive contribution here always. And I sincerely say that from my heart with much . . . so much gratitude respectfully !!!!

Thnx you all are so awesome cool !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[kiely]

I mean c'mon. olol I spell wrong all of the time. jFcks. see.

Spread the love. Support all as best as you can.

like the one winged dove .

 

[kiely]

Ah, tokayeahok is a guy.

Sure is. Sorry Dude's. My heads all messed up . . . and I am not playin.

 

[kiely]

Oh and then my phone. . . So I put it on the bumper to unzip my jacket and take it off from the afternoon heat. I told myself don't put the phone there it's not a smart move. Put it back inside. But my cramping brain said it's just a second. I will take my jacket off and grab it.

I took my jacket off, got back in the vehicle, drove away. Never saw the phone again. Gone.

That was the very first time that I lost a cell phone EVER. and all my pictures. doggie ones too.

Gone like most of my brain. I'M SO SAD. WHY? frieken horrible. It gets really bad too. . goes on for a couple days now in a row

I am trying not to be confused but it's just working too hard probably too. But it will get better.

It's going to be bad if it gets worse. I'm so Serious though.

 

[kiely]

I can't believe I fckd up again and again and again and again. Thanks for help.

 

[lecroute]

Sure is. Sorry Dude's. My heads all messed up . . . and I am not playin.

I keep fucking up with information and I can't finish sentences. Like I almost couldn't remember that. He She then you gotta spell right tooo.

Thanks for catching that but I knew I spelled He fucking wrong. But can I remember to finish a sentence or to go back and correct my spelling.'

Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, and people who know you will understand what you're saying. The ones who don't know you but want will make that effort. And the one's who don't want, don't give a shit about what they make out of you.

I can't believe I fckd up again and again and again and again. Thanks for help.

And as for yourself, this bumper-phone thing? I know at least one person to whom that happened (only she left hers on the car roof). Another guy left his on the dashboard and when he returned to his car the screen was all burnt out. Both knew better, but it still happened to them.

I'm a perfectionist myself and used to get very angry at myself and everything whenever I made a mistake. Then I realized that nobody can through life without making mistakes, and that putting oneself under the pressure of being perfect will only make you made more mistakes, eventually.

So analyze what you did wrong, try to correct best as possible, then laugh about it. Because

I feel like even if I’m all stressed out & stuff, even that couple minutes I laugh is good for the soul or something

 

[kiely]

So analyze what did wrong, try to correct best as possible, then laugh about it. Because

Do you write for a living. Because that was good.

~~~~~~~~~

See now that's what I want to be able to do. But I keep trying. I don't know why. I don't. Because I think I can I guess.

I kept trying to spell the @ name and I kept getting it wrong. And I originally had the sentences combined. And then I saw Angels posting.

And then I made two sentences out of one. And I saw the mess up because it wasn't about angel. Then I said oh wouldn't that be something if I

messed up. I will go back and fix my spelling. And just like the phone I watched it happen and still messed it up. Oh and of course it had to be on

HER name . . . . . Juuuuust kidding wink wink wink wink.

And it is scary because these things keep happening. I guess it's called deja vu. It's been happening with posts on here too. When something is

posted I say omg I saw this post before. No . . . . not something similar but I saw the exact post before . . . it was even posted.

And of course I know that can't happen but it has been happening in real life too. Like big time bad ones. I will be standing in the kitchen and be

terrified because I will be freaked out because I feel like what the f. this just happened and I had already did this so how . . how can it be happening

twice. I am in the same scenario twice doing it over again before it even happened I watch it happen, what I had just did.

So yes, I try to shake it off but it gets worse. I had a kinda awful dysfunctional family life growing up too and then when I got married the marriage

dysfunction was more than I could even handle anymore. I mean are there any normal people actually out there. But one thing for sure . . . . there

are some that are just way way more dysfunctional and are not like the others.

We all scattered from it and each other on that side. Sad. Heartbreaking. There are some of those out there who will never change

and don't want to. They just get suck in there own misery and unhappiness. And unhealthiness. And are comfortable there.

I just wanted to care and make things better and change. I found others where they have that type of love in there heart

and reach out to help try to find healthiness in each other. The good ones out there making it all and everything so much better. The ones that want to make things more preferable to appreciate the whole perception of things that make and create and are able to get

through obstacles and debacles. lol.

And then there are those that don't want to change and have to make everyone miserable along with them. With games and manipulation

and just plain vindictiveness as a life style and a way of existence.

Any way there are others around me that are very healthy and helpful and have found happiness and tranquility everywhere and in everyone

and that do not cause upset and disruption everywhere they end up. I search.

Anyway I wanted to be happy and healthy and have a good heart. So even if we weren't exactly created that way we can have the chance grow

better within ourselves and each other.

and persevere with being healthier and be better than all of the dumb unnecessary aggravation. because people will destroy each other in the

short life times that they have and just make it worse for each other.

That's why tokayeahok is one of the best ever and just crushes it to darn good. Always.

Every post tokayeahok makes I can just learn from and feel good from and have new life skills from. But no . . . I had to go write something real fast and

screw that right up. When I knew I was going to do it anyway. I was going to fix it . . . . but no just like the phone. . . I don't know why. I was thinking

Angels though. I am going to call her a guy now too. Hey brah. I love YOUR posts too. lololol. I do. It's fun to have someone around that can

help us all learn and to set good examples and admire. I admire that so much because that is how I want to be too as well.

I had trouble writing this too. It was rough. But I will type it out from now on in another app, proof read it and then submit it. That is if I ever write

anything again and will try real hard not to also. Garbling on and on and on anyway at least. My brain can't even learn new things anymore without it

hurting my head real bad. Like yes physically

hurting. I can't even put together my new camera because it hurts. So I gave it away. To a family member.

Lol. I gave it a try. So I see how it still is now. Not easy. And now know how it still is and how and why I had to get away from it all.

Bye.

Smile. Keep the love in your hearts.

 

[kiely]

lol I want to be Normal. I just want to be normal !!!

omg some of those post out there. help me god help me.


help me


oh no. Bye.

 

[lecroute]

lol I want to be Normal. I just want to be normal !!!

omg some of those post out there. help me god help me.


help me


oh no. Bye.

For short periods in my life I wanted to be normal, too. Have up on that. Now I'm embracing who I am.

Take things with calm, it makes it easier. And never forget to see the beauty in many things, and the funny side in others.

 

[kiely]

Ah,

I guess I should have said I made a typo. I remembered after I logged out too. End of story.

~~~~~~~~~~

True story. Thought omg I better go back and change it. Oh sh#t. Got

distracted, can't remember stuff, am all confused. Everything seemed to take forever. If I could even function at all. Medication in the Summer not

good for me and harsh. I know it's just methotrexate but I have to take it. With . . . . with . . . with . . . I can't remember the name of it. THE VITAMIN !!!! And I did f###ing remember too late and then I forget. Then things happen. I just cant do anything about it right. I (oh folic acid, man)

I already know, you know, he is a he !! But so do I !!! IT WAS A TYPO. I was thinking of Angels too. I can't do anything right lately. Or

anything it seems. I have to breath. Just look at my typing errors and know that. I know who tokayeahok is. And tokayeahok has been here for the longest time with

intriguing posts. So yeah just leave it to me to f#ck everything up without even trying. Or I probably don't try hard enough. I wanted to make an

effort. I keep trying. I don't know what I am going to do. I guess this is how I am going to be now. Especially in dry humid heat. With bugs.

Now I had to go back and space all of the sentences correctly because they were jumping around and breaking in half and smashing together all

over the page. It wasn't even an easy task to type this either. I had to keep fixing the sentences over and over and over and over. I just had to keep

fixing it and just keep trying.


I guess I will have to get used to everything and all and it is the way that it is now. It seems to help if I am real slow and cautious and take my time and pay attention

even more now. See what my sentences do. They break up and then I have to go fix it and then the next one on top and then the next on on top of that and on and on and on.

I'M FRUSTRATED. But I will shut up about it AND JUST TRY TO DO BETTER. I do feel like I am better and it does seem like I am getting better. They took my medicine away from me. This is how I have to

cope. And I am sick. But I am going to work on it. That is all. As if it wasn't enough. I am sorry I f'd it up again and I spelled wrong. And I am sorry . .

and it couldn't have happened to a nicer person. And then there is me with my fckdupness and my disorder. Would it help to know I was thinking of

Angels too. And practically everyone is a guy anyway so I should start calling everyone him or he now. I'm so fckn sorry I tried to change it and

didn't. - - - bit me fckn good one too. I have been trying to say my brain cramps and it hurts. And I am having bad reacts to gabapentin and kratom too, for now. Nothing works

for me and I am having such a horrible time right now. I am going to get up and go today though. And hope that I make it through! I think I am

going to give it a try now. But yeah so I am kiely with the bad brain for now !!!!

I just wanted to try. I am still traumatized from being in the hospital and being shot up with really strong meds. NOT to mention the bills for it that are

flying at me from all directions. I am really Zyrtec again and it is helping a lot too. I just proof read this and it said really Zyrtec !!!!! It is supposed to say TAKING ZYRTEC. BUT it's only a matter of time until I run out of those too. And I

keep giving one to my mom here and there too because now she needs help too. So I share. Because I try to help out too and do my best for others

when ever I can. It helps US, both. Sorry. Sorry Jnowere. Sorry everybody. I'm sorry. MY dumb doctors appointment is coming up anyway soon at the end of the

month. I will ask him for some Zyrtec. And see. The insurance quit paying for the ZYRTEC about 4 years ago but I will try again and beg the doctor

and see if the insurance can pick it up like insurance used to. Oh wait I don't even have insurance yet and I have been paying for all of my prescriptions now.

Because it was the beginning of the year and my stupid brain forgot to take care of it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Again. I might die.

Thank you @Jnowehre. @Jnowhere See how I spelled your name the first time. It's what I do. I am not mad . . . because I am just too FRUSTRATED !!!!! Frustration !!! So bad.

It is not easy to type. I don't know why !!!!!

So . . . ARE YOU still or are you MAD BRO ?????

Peace be with you all. And please pray for me, please . . . so that I can be perfect with everyone else.

 

[kiely]

Oh yes ma’am … healing isn’t linear.
Also depending on what you’re healing from … healing can be like peeling back layers of an onion (if that makes any sense) … I’m sleep deprived so I maybe can better explain it later. But either way I’m a ‘trying to be’ survivor of some pretty horrific shit to be honest with you & sometimes I’m pretty open about it. If you ever need to reach out & talk about it this is a good thread to do so (only when or if you’re comfortable or ready).
Healing can take a VERY long time but then there’s days where you’re like “Woah I can’t believe how far I’ve come” & … some days it’s two steps forward, some days it’s two steps back. I call it doing the cha cha
Gentle hug amiga

THAT'S HOT !!!!