Where is the cannabis forum?

[Stephy]

Oh wow, I am in MI and we fear Texas, once a dude from MI got caught in either TX or FL (sorry i can't remember) got pulled over with like 15 prerolled joints. He ended up being sentenced to 20 years and labeled "the joint man from Michigan". This was before anyone legalized though.

If you have a medical marijuana card in MI (This varies state to state) you are now allowed to smoke pot while on probation! Check with, well if you can 1. another patient that goes there and smokes 2. Look up the hospital policies regarding medical marijuana; quite likely if you have a medical card you will be able to fail your THC test. ....3.. If all else fails call anonymously and say you are interested in being a patient but are wondering if your medical marijuana card would cause a problem. Id just ask straight out as they are going to try and get your information at some point; you aren't interested in divulging anything until you know the policy.....at which point idk hang up? you can figure it out from there.

You aren't using pot yet or your pain medication yet? again sorry I didn't read all the build up backstory just tried to catch what was pertinent.

It's ok. I'm on very large doses of opiods and still in A LOT of pain. I'm also snappy to certain people... mostly my ex who has been called a narcissist by many people. But there's a lot of trauma on both sides.

 

[Jibult]

It's ok. I'm on very large doses of opiods and still in A LOT of pain. I'm also snappy to certain people... mostly my ex who has been called a narcissist by many people. But there's a lot of trauma on both sides.

Sounds like it's time for a blank slate. It's probably the only way you'll be able to move forward without having to make concessions.

Reset the relationship back to neutral and ensure there's always a legal third party witness whenever the two of you interact.

Trust him to show you all of the same behaviors he's unveiled in the past while you take the high ground and kill him with kindness. Document every meeting, every visit, and always have a witness that's willing to testify or write a statement on your behalf without being inherently biased.

 

[smokeymcpot42088]

Whats ok, giving up pot or failing your test for thc? If you really want pm me I will call them anonymously for you, they have very little (no) power over me.

^Sounds like too much effort with the document everything between you too. I know I wouldn't want that. I know it didn't go well for johnny and amber... but everyones situation is different I suppose.

Id go a step further and and say reset it back to only hang out with him with friends and no staying the night when your alone lol. A narccissist beyond a word I dont spell right is a person quite prone to taking advantage of people that have physical problems.

Would it be going a step to far to ask if he takes opis too? Not that it necessarily means anything if he does actually, nvm, but be sure to put yourself first.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Stephy said:
The courts gave me supervised visitation only because of the lies he said... then he let me move in and I left after 3.3 years. Now it's been a almost 3 year fight

Over here there are three option's.

-The kidś live with the mother and a visiting schedule is required through a judge. Mostly every other weekend is Father's.
-Or Co-parenthood.
-If one of the biological parent's is lasting or temporarly unfit, the other parent gets sole custody.

Also when not employed your not only entiteld a home, written in the law. You also get temporarly un-employment pay (real short period) and else social security and there is disability. Me being in the last.

So I do have house big enough for three, a clean record. But a few fake accusation's from my ex to the cop's and over.
Not in anyway legal, violating 'the Children's Right's'. And without a judge, which is illegal.
Frying my brain first (had some seizure's that period,).
But now that I now that some things my ex does make me angry, and mad.
And that all starts merely by thought's which become emotion's, you can just let fly by. I try to learn myself that.

Something i read once: if an important person (a father or mother for example) act's unreasonable, you want to go in it. Doing exactly what the other anticipated. You get angry-mad.
Better just mirror it back being as polite as possible. Say i am leaving now as this is not appropiate behaviour imo. I am willing to speak about it, but in a for me acceptable way.

Then you turn around and leave for a few hour's. The opposit of my action's then which also took a few hour's and only deepened the hole. While draining the soul.

 

[crazyhairman]

I also have pretty constant moderate to severe pain both in my intestinal tract and my skeletal muscles in my back. It's real pain it's not like a psychosomatic kind of deal. I quit smoking probably 6 years ago because of the paranoia mainly. Now I use edibles. Those Delta 9 Delta 8 CBD CBN CBG all that stuff. Mainly hemp or CBD derived cannabinoid compounds.

And I got to say I've never had anything as effective for pain relief as those particular compounds. Smoking is more of a recreational thing for me whereas the Delta 8 edible is more like medication.

But to each their own man if it works for you that's great. I just find smoking to be to too intense to be considered helpful. Plus I really hate sourcing I'm in a conservative state where marijuana is illegal but for some reason hemp based products are readily available.

Although even if I did live in a legal state I would much prefer the relief that Delta 8 gives me over medical marijuana products. It just works better and for longer and it's more of a sedated feeling rather than a typical marijuana high.

 

[Jibult]

^Sounds like too much effort with the document everything between you too. I know I wouldn't want that. I know it didn't go well for johnny and amber... but everyones situation is different I suppose.

While I agree it's a lot of effort, I suppose this response is extremely telling of just how far you'd be willing to go to secure your relationship with your child.

I apologize for that shot but I honestly can't think of anything else in response to the thought that anything would be "too much effort" to keep your family together and under your care.

Flip-side? There's a reason we have so many fatherless children in this country, and that alone clearly indicates that not everyone thinks like me.... and I'm honestly okay with that. I've never subscribed to the thought that "it takes a village."

 

[Jibult]

Something i read once: if an important person (a father or mother for example) act's unreasonable, you want to go in it. Doing exactly what the other anticipated. You get angry-mad.
Better just mirror it back being as polite as possible. Say i am leaving now as this is not appropiate behaviour imo. I am willing to speak about it, but in a for me acceptable way.

Then you turn around and leave for a few hour's. The opposit of my action's then which also took a few hour's and only deepened the hole. While draining the soul.

emkee, fantastic post. Felt like I was reading from a self-help book that I actually chose to read.

I'm curious about the part I quoted, though. I was following really well but I can't figure out what you meant by "if an important person acts unreasonable, you want to go in it"

I thought at first that meant you would want to confront the unreasonable behavior on the spot, but once you mentioned mirroring the behavior I started to doubt myself. Now I'm thinking there's either a typo or I'm really fucking up with my reading comprehension

 

[smokeymcpot42088]

While I agree it's a lot of effort, I suppose this response is extremely telling of just how far you'd be willing to go to secure your relationship with your child.

no apology needed at all, ... I was just thinkin ive never seen it go good IRL *I had a friend who said he was toxic and openly recorded everything I wouldn't talk to him with her there. I honestly can't think of anything else in response to the thought that anything would be "too much effort" to keep your family together and under your care.

Flip-side? There's a reason we have so many fatherless children in this country, and that alone clearly indicates that not everyone thinks like me.... and I'm honestly okay with that. I've never subscribed to the thought that "it takes a village."

i did not mean to take a shot at you at all; nor did I see what you said as a shot at me; were straight man.... I don't have children. Actually I wouldn't 'shake hands' with mothers as you know almost 100 percent for certain would put you under the bus to keep their kid. Which is natural and not much a suprise; but still at that time I had to cover my own ass. God knows how far id go to protect my kid. (dont have one and I have to admit I just don't know what that feels like, just like I don't know what is like to be black or female) there just isn't enough perspective till unless its YOUR experience. I just never seen it lead anywhere good. I had a friend whose gf said he wasn't treating him right so she recorded everything. I wouldn't talk in the same house as her. Sure enough she turns the audio into the police and snitches on him, he in turn snitches like the crackhead bitch he is and takes down 2 or three REAL ONES from detroit. (my ones i mean actual professional proficient at there trade and loyal down to the last round)

Its not that I think it is going too far..... necessarily ....as much as i think it would end up being a bad look for both of them and beg law interference that could lead to CPS issue' Isuppose you can edit anything inciriminating or embarasing to you in order to protect yourself... I wouldn't count on them not finding the edit outs too though. *than again I am tech illiterat, im sure you have a better idea than me

 

[emkee_reinvented]

emkee, fantastic post. Felt like I was reading from a self-help book that I actually chose to read.

I'm curious about the part I quoted, though. I was following really well but I can't figure out what you meant by "if an important person acts unreasonable, you want to go in it"

I thought at first that meant you would want to confront the unreasonable behavior on the spot, but once you mentioned mirroring the behavior I started to doubt myself. Now I'm thinking there's either a typo or I'm really fucking up with my reading comprehension

Important, well that's easy explainable. When someone unimportant show's this kinda behaviour, or other unacceptable shit toward's you or other's. You can just ingnore it or find a snappy comeback (depends on the the situation), you don't want to get in a actual fight.
Giving an totally not-anticipated response, not only derail's the thing, you also not giving the person what he/ she want's.
Whatever its a nobody.

Family and friends are way closer, and will alway's be around. So need a psychologic approach that is effective. On the whole net only one site popped up on the issue of passive-agresion (an conduct disorder) and how to correctly respond.

Passive-aggression is one of many, I believe, and can leave you with complex-PTSD. But the conduct disorder's where taken out of the DSM?

Yes you should confront the behaviour on the spot (I called it mirroring). With his or her own unacceptable way of communication to you (and what he/ she say's/ shouts, mostly they blame the other). Btw this are not conflict's where both party's want a solution but are not on the same line. This is mental/ psychological abuse just as bad as physical. Which explained my fight and flight response, but I never went physical, jus reasoable (dumbass you should have run). As that is not acceptable, you ask polite as possible in these circumstances: I do want to talk about this with you, but in a civilized calm adult way. Without the kid's around. Not that they will do that I expect.

Then turn around and walk away, as its about saving yourself and minimizing trauma to kid's if they are witness to it.

No clue how people with Narsistic, Anti-Social or Psychopaths personality's would react, and if un-reasonable behaviour also comes forth from personality disorder's. They seem more dangerous to me and unpredictable.

Ps. Nearsighted, to lazy to get my glasses and being Dutch make up 60% of the writing/ grammer mistakes. The rest I blame on the drug's, obvious case of self induced brain damage (LOL)

 

[Stephy]

snitches like the crackhead bitch he is and takes down 2 or three REAL ONES from detroit. (my ones i mean actual professional proficient at there trade and loyal down to the last round)

I'm not exactly sure what you mean here... but my brain says I should be laughing hysterically!! you're good man! No worries!!

 

[Stephy]

While I agree it's a lot of effort, I suppose this response is extremely telling of just how far you'd be willing to go to secure your relationship with your child.

I apologize for that shot but I honestly can't think of anything else in response to the thought that anything would be "too much effort" to keep your family together and under your care.

Flip-side? There's a reason we have so many fatherless children in this country, and that alone clearly indicates that not everyone thinks like me.... and I'm honestly okay with that. I've never subscribed to the thought that "it takes a village."

You've never subscribed to the it takes a village? Question? Do you have children? I only ask because the village comes along like this....I know how to do something you don't know and you have wise advise about other stuff I don't know..... now we want the child to have the advantage of both skills right? Because you can't teach what you don't know how to do.... right? And I can't give wise advice I know nothing of..... correct? So if you loved the child you would want them to benefit from both sides.... right? I would! So unless they are hurting the child both should teach the child. Just my belief as a mom.... and trust me.... mom guilt is A REAL THING!!!

 

[Stephy]

Over here there are three option's.

-The kidś live with the mother and a visiting schedule is required through a judge. Mostly every other weekend is Father's.
-Or Co-parenthood.
-If one of the biological parent's is lasting or temporarly unfit, the other parent gets sole custody.

Also when not employed your not only entiteld a home, written in the law. You also get temporarly un-employment pay (real short period) and else social security and there is disability. Me being in the last.

So I do have house big enough for three, a clean record. But a few fake accusation's from my ex to the cop's and over.
Not in anyway legal, violating 'the Children's Right's'. And without a judge, which is illegal.
Frying my brain first (had some seizure's that period,).
But now that I now that some things my ex does make me angry, and mad.
And that all starts merely by thought's which become emotion's, you can just let fly by. I try to learn myself that.

Something i read once: if an important person (a father or mother for example) act's unreasonable, you want to go in it. Doing exactly what the other anticipated. You get angry-mad.
Better just mirror it back being as polite as possible. Say i am leaving now as this is not appropiate behaviour imo. I am willing to speak about it, but in a for me acceptable way.

Then you turn around and leave for a few hour's. The opposit of my action's then which also took a few hour's and only deepened the hole. While draining the soul.

Where are you from? Because we are absolutely not entitled to anything more than or even equal to a tent under a bridge.... to some that would be great if your not absolutely lucky. Un-employment earnings is absolutely not due anyone except one who worked hard and earned it!!! And it's hard to act reasonably when the father of your child who spent VERY LITTLE TIME with our son and who doesn't give a rat's ass about you takes the child and keeps him from you. As if the divorce didn't hurt enough

 

[smokeymcpot42088]

I'm not exactly sure what you mean here... but my brain says I should be laughing hysterically!! you're good man! No worries!!

Ok, so uh hypothetically I had a buddy that was a well known crack fiend, never had a gf in his life. He is hustling and making two bit hustler money and some stripper starts dating him. She tells him openly that she is recording everything he does, her phone is on record constantly because she said he was controlling or something I forget....

well every now and than I would cross paths with this fiend for mutually benefitial reasons, he repeatedly tried to introduce me to her, tell me anything I could say in front of him I could say in front of her; despite the recording everything. Not being stupid af I always took him outside and away from her when we spoke....

well suprise she was a CI and has him on like god knows how many deals, plenty; he was fucked. The audio being the key evidence. His dumbass consented to her recording so it was admissable lmao. (i think, im not a lawyer)

So here is where funny ends; of course being the fiend he is he decides to snitch out as well. Unfortunately he snitched out a couple of very professional, proficient, loyal hook ups he had gathered in detroit. Those fellows don't talk and I didn't know them personally, beyond a head nod or whatever but I imagine they are still in prison.

 

[Jibult]

You've never subscribed to the it takes a village? Question? Do you have children? I only ask because the village comes along like this....I know how to do something you don't know and you have wise advise about other stuff I don't know..... now we want the child to have the advantage of both skills right? Because you can't teach what you don't know how to do.... right? And I can't give wise advice I know nothing of..... correct? So if you loved the child you would want them to benefit from both sides.... right? I would! So unless they are hurting the child both should teach the child. Just my belief as a mom.... and trust me.... mom guilt is A REAL THING!!!

So.... when you hear the idiom, you need to realize that when a person says it takes a village to raise a child, they mean that the parents are incapable of raising a civilized person without help. It seems like you think the village references a complete set of parental figures, when in actuality the saying is completely excluding them and rendering them irrelevant.

So no. I don't think it takes a village. Oftentimes I find myself thinking fuck the village. Point in case? Every time I turn on the TV I'm catching a news report, commercial or PSA pushing some kind of trans agenda onto our youth. There are cases where I don't want the village having a damn thing to do with my family.

Also, I find it funny that your first direct response to me is a misunderstanding and an attempt at one-upmanship.

You may have some reflecting to do, Stephy. I've been open and ingenuous with every post, and the way you choose to respond is.... indicative of your ex being on to something. I'm curious what his side of the story would be if he were to stumble upon this forum.

I don't know what mom guilt is, but I'm extremely familiar with guilt in general and I know oh so well how it comes to be.

Best of luck in this struggle. I'm gonna go ahead and bow out of this thread unless I end up tagged.

 

[Madness]

@Stephy - hey, I understand what you're saying. And you don't seem to be doing anything wrong here. Everyone has interpretations, knowledge to offer, blind spots, you know this, I know this - please don't feel unwelcome here because of posts like the above one, I find value in your posts and I'm sure I'm not the only one

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Where are you from? Because we are absolutely not entitled to anything more than or even equal to a tent under a bridge.... to some that would be great if your not absolutely lucky. Un-employment earnings is absolutely not due anyone except one who worked hard and earned it!!! And it's hard to act reasonably when the father of your child who spent VERY LITTLE TIME with our son and who doesn't give a rat's ass about you takes the child and keeps him from you. As if the divorce didn't hurt enough

NL. We 'discoverd' New York long after the Viking's allready discoverd America, traded it with the French who took over.

Well its in the law that stated some basic principles your entiteleld to. A house or shelter (which can be a temporarly) till an house is available, some basic thing's like bed/ toilet shower and water/ food.
Unemployment/ work pay (for inbetween job's) used to be 2 year's with the duty to sollicitate. Now it's 1 month for every year worked, and way stricter about finding a job fast.

Other wise without a proper adres wellfare would be the next step. Can you get welfare while in the shelter? Its not ment permanent, the shelter I guess, can they help you with finding housing?

And about the law, its nothing more then a paper just like Childrens Rights. If nobody follow's these rules, only a lawyer could in court defend your case. But if this is a possibility, over here there are free lawyer's, I would take it to a judge handling family/ divorces / kids.

Weren't it for my other problem's that are also mountain high and my ex a ..... . So 10 year's or 12 not seeing my kid's shouldn't really matter.
App them or write keeping contact is crucial, according to my mom, confirmed in the 'Right's of Chidren' contact with both parent's.
As it hurts them the hardest.

Hangtuff Stephy

 

[Stephy]

So.... when you hear the idiom, you need to realize that when a person says it takes a village to raise a child, they mean that the parents are incapable of raising a civilized person without help. It seems like you think the village references a complete set of parental figures, when in actuality the saying is completely excluding them and rendering them irrelevant.

So no. I don't think it takes a village. Oftentimes I find myself thinking fuck the village. Point in case? Every time I turn on the TV I'm catching a news report, commercial or PSA pushing some kind of trans agenda onto our youth. There are cases where I don't want the village having a damn thing to do with my family.

Also, I find it funny that your first direct response to me is a misunderstanding and an attempt at one-upmanship.

You may have some reflecting to do, Stephy. I've been open and ingenuous with every post, and the way you choose to respond is.... indicative of your ex being on to something. I'm curious what his side of the story would be if he were to stumble upon this forum.

I don't know what mom guilt is, but I'm extremely familiar with guilt in general and I know oh so well how it comes to be.

Best of luck in this struggle. I'm gonna go ahead and bow out of this thread unless I end up tagged.

I'm sorry I did not mean in anyway degraded. However I feel that the parents are just another cog in the village and absolutely part of it...i mean when you refer to the city you live in do you not count your self a part of it?? I feel it's the same thing. But i can not force you to agree and if i were to do that then you would never really agree with me. Your opion is by all means your right. I'd rather persuade you to feel the same than to make you feel bashed over the head. i do believe that every person is better in some other way than everyone else. I don't mean to say I'm one upped better than you... just different. Let me re-read what I have said to see where it could sound that way that made you feel bad. Everyone is intitiled to their own opinion, but let me tell you... nobody is perfect. No parent can possibly be perfect and it's not necessarily incompetent or incapable... but more that we all have our own..... crap what do you call.... special talents...ex...I would have never made it through physics and chemistry with out my uncle... yes the true NASA Rocket scientist... because there was never a chance in hell my parents could have tutored me. So what should they do? What should I do?? I would prefer not to fail... yet I still barely passed. LOVED THE CLASSES... still not one of my strengths... and doesn't mean my parents were incapable. They were very capable with their own strengths, but math and science weren't theirs. I'm sorry I re-read what I think the post you were referring to and I don't see where I degraded you or one- upped you. I'm sorry you feel that way. I absolutely did not feel any ill will to you...a difference of opinion of course and I hoped you would agree that we all have different gifts to give because we are not all super brains.((sorry I think this was someone else... I asked where you were...I assume British or surrounding area because of the cool housing and unemployment you get.... we don't get guaranteed housing in texas... we have to fight for low income housing And my ex is an anal retention narcissist... I struggle with keeping everything together... which is why we fight. ))((I'm very ADHD and absent minded... out of sight... out of mind for sure for me!!))My ex has never been on anything except alcohol in his youth. My guilt is WAY WORSE than regular guilt because we try so hard in every way to teach our children well.... and we constantly worry not only about what we screw up, but how our child's life might go to hell in a hand basket through fault of absolutely no one just stupid luck. No...I absolutely appreciate your input...I guess more than I conveyed or less maybe than you realized and I never want to make you feel any less of the wonderful social person you are who cared enough to answer my post with your personal views. Without you I would have no one to talk to... but myself. And that's not nearly as much fun. So stick around...I don't mean to offend... my family always said I should be an attorney...I come from a family of teachers so maybe that's where you're feeling.... like I think I'm better or something... no I'm not. Believe me...I am no better than any other man, but sometimes the teacher in me from my family comes out. I'm actually very self reflective...i practice self reflection quite frequently....I'm sorry but please feel welcome. Sick around we like you here.



Stephanie

 

[Stephy]

@Stephy - hey, I understand what you're saying. And you don't seem to be doing anything wrong here. Everyone has interpretations, knowledge to offer, blind spots, you know this, I know this - please don't feel unwelcome here because of posts like the above one, I find value in your posts and I'm sure I'm not the only one

Thank you

 

[emkee_reinvented]

No parent can possibly be perfect and it's not necessarily incompetent or incapable...

Nicely worded, I wasn't a perfect parent. neither was my Mother or my Granny. Just as long as you learn from your mistakes. My ex though is a bad parent, not a abusive manipulative one. She just gives our kid's a bad example, and a stressful youth imo. Do you see your kid's from time to time?

My ex-neighbour had a dog, animals that are way more sensitive then us, but unlike cat's dog's stick around human's all the time. It was so noticeable that the dog would get wild if we talked loud and exstatic. While when we were calmly talking it would directly be noticeable, the dog would calm down to.

To bad only I noticed it. His dog almost killed him a few weeks ago, could hear it through the walls, horryfing. His Mom saved him with a cooking pan. Moral learn from mistakes, be like a donkey never bump to the same rock twice. Humans have a tendency to doing the same shit again and again, well I do/ did. Different aproaches offer more option's, sorry for getting metaphoric. Had bad conversation recently with my own ex, useless but painful.

 

[Jibult]

I'm sorry I did not mean in anyway degraded. However I feel that the parents are just another cog in the village and absolutely part of it...i mean when you refer to the city you live in do you not count your self a part of it?? I feel it's the same thing. But i can not force you to agree and if i were to do that then you would never really agree with me. Your opion is by all means your right. I'd rather persuade you to feel the same than to make you feel bashed over the head. i do believe that every person is better in some other way than everyone else. I don't mean to say I'm one upped better than you... just different. Let me re-read what I have said to see where it could sound that way that made you feel bad. Everyone is intitiled to their own opinion, but let me tell you... nobody is perfect. No parent can possibly be perfect and it's not necessarily incompetent or incapable... but more that we all have our own..... crap what do you call.... special talents...ex...I would have never made it through physics and chemistry with out my uncle... yes the true NASA Rocket scientist... because there was never a chance in hell my parents could have tutored me. So what should they do? What should I do?? I would prefer not to fail... yet I still barely passed. LOVED THE CLASSES... still not one of my strengths... and doesn't mean my parents were incapable. They were very capable with their own strengths, but math and science weren't theirs. I'm sorry I re-read what I think the post you were referring to and I don't see where I degraded you or one- upped you. I'm sorry you feel that way. I absolutely did not feel any ill will to you...a difference of opinion of course and I hoped you would agree that we all have different gifts to give because we are not all super brains.((sorry I think this was someone else... I asked where you were...I assume British or surrounding area because of the cool housing and unemployment you get.... we don't get guaranteed housing in texas... we have to fight for low income housing And my ex is an anal retention narcissist... I struggle with keeping everything together... which is why we fight. ))((I'm very ADHD and absent minded... out of sight... out of mind for sure for me!!))My ex has never been on anything except alcohol in his youth. My guilt is WAY WORSE than regular guilt because we try so hard in every way to teach our children well.... and we constantly worry not only about what we screw up, but how our child's life might go to hell in a hand basket through fault of absolutely no one just stupid luck. No...I absolutely appreciate your input...I guess more than I conveyed or less maybe than you realized and I never want to make you feel any less of the wonderful social person you are who cared enough to answer my post with your personal views. Without you I would have no one to talk to... but myself. And that's not nearly as much fun. So stick around...I don't mean to offend... my family always said I should be an attorney...I come from a family of teachers so maybe that's where you're feeling.... like I think I'm better or something... no I'm not. Believe me...I am no better than any other man, but sometimes the teacher in me from my family comes out. I'm actually very self reflective...i practice self reflection quite frequently....I'm sorry but please feel welcome. Sick around we like you here.



Stephanie

I don't think you degraded me. I noticed an emotional response and decided that I wasn't the right person for you to be speaking with, because when emotions get involved in MY thought processes the conversation will go bad. There's no saving it, there's no talking me down.


Best of luck, Stephy. I hope you get the help and advice you're looking for.