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Funniest benzo story

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smokedopetillidie

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Mar 20, 2024
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Lemme preface by saying I’ve never had a good benzo experience. Always instantly lose control and do some embarassing shit. Yet I always get a kick when buddies tell me the stupid ass shit I did. If you’ve got any funny benzo stories(even if you’re a little ashamed) drop em below, 10 bucks if you’ve got one worse than me.
I’ll start it off with my funniest yet worst story. So I’m at home from college over break. Parents home siblings home so idk wtf I was thinking but I had this idea I could be chill and sneaky off benzos. We’ve got two staircases in my house as we live in a skinny townhouse. So I pop two schoolbuses and already I’m fucked. I get fucked up off benzos so it really hits. Mind you I’ve got a bag of like 12 bars(I don’t even remember). Well I’ve been hitting dabs in the bathroom cause of the fan. I decide I want a beer, I’m on the second floor and the fridge with alcohol is all the way in the garage past the basement. Parents bedroom is central point between both staircases so I’m already plotting. I’m deep in thought and idk how but slammed my nose into the sink(I don’t fuckin know) shit disoriented me mad, but it didn’t stop me from getting to the stairs. Go down the first set all good quiet(or so I think) second sets a little dark but it’s no problem(again I think) I get to the fridge and recognize I’m very fucked up atp I had popped maybe 6 and the dabs are slowing my brain function. So I’m not about to make another trip. My dumbass grabs 6 fucking beers while holding my phone and the bag in my pocket that I’m afraid to crush. About half way up the first set. Lose my balance. Full fucking tumble backwards. Gather all the beer I can find and finally get to the top. Second set same story. But way worse, full tumble and roll backwards ending on my ass right in front of parents bedroom. When I finally get to my room I got 3 beers. Parents come up asking wtf is going on and I’m surprised asf cause I thought I was sneaky. While they talking to me I just kinda go to bed. Wake up the next day in so much pain. Bruises on every part of my body that can be bruised. Apparently I had dropped 1 beer on the first set and 2 on the second. Stepped in the shattered glass got wet prolly why I slipped and thugged that shit out to my room. Still to this day think about it and cringe
 
I got many funny benzo stories but one weird phenomenon is me stealing stuff, particularly shop lifting. Some are too complicated and long to tell. And some I shouldn't tell on here but here's a simple one:

I never, ever shoplift. Nor do I even think about it. Ever. Doesn't even cross my mind. But on high doses of benzos I've stolen random things. Probably the dumbest was nicotine gum, because they were behind a locked display, so I had to tinker with the plastic from behind as to not set off the alarm in order to steal it. Mind you I don't even smoke nor have any need for nicotine gum and i have plenty of money. Made zero sense and put me at risk of arrest for a $16 item that i had no use for, but that's benzos for you. The craziest part is that I've never shoplifted nor even considered it ever. I stole other things too, weird things, like my girlfriend's little kid brothers dinosaur watch. I actually don't even remember stealing that and only found it the next day, and realized, "oh shit must have been all that etizolam". Like where the fuck does that senseless kleptomania come from 😂

I have more that are very bizarre and complicated, some involving dangerous situations, like going to the hood or driving to Tijuana, but they are longer stories. What is most amazing is that I never got in trouble for anything. Actually, that quite accurate, I did get arrested once while on xanax, in a very dramatic fashion (essentially by a SWAT team) but definitely not going to tell that one. But aside from that, I'm amazed. It's almost like I became a different person in many respects. Not just one different person, but multiple different personas. It is somewhat akin to the movie "Catch Me If You Can" but not quite as cinematic. I spent years on benzos so alot transpired, and I was very functional in a sense, but I wasn't being me. Benzos sort of shifted me into who I thought I can be, rather than who I really am. And I'm a bright guy who speaks well, so I was able to pull it off. And much of time I was able to pull it off. Except for that one time. People who know the full story always say that I should write a book about it, because it's pretty extraordinary. Unfortunately, all that benzo use had a price tag, and I'm permanently more tense than I ever was before then.
 
Stupidest thing I ever did on benzos was walking into my neibors house with groceries an saying to myself... Wait a minute..... This isn't my house.
 
Curiously enough, I have seen people do all kinds of crazy shit while on drugs, but it was never while on benzos (at least not alone). So the only story I can tell where I personally was on benzos though the clumsy stuff happened to my ex, who was drunk (and probably more benzos than me).

It was on a Saturday morning while doing some shopping on the street where the local office of the PDI (investigations department of the police) is located. Because we had been partying, and it's impossible to get a parking spot there, we walked down to the plan (downtown so to speak) and wanted to take the bus or a taxi back home.

When my ex saw a car that looked like his (it was same color, same model, but very clearly not his) he was convinced his brother who at the time was staying at our place, had come down to meet up with is. Now instead of calling him (we were kind of tired of the visit) he stuck his key into the lock. Of course he couldn't open the car, and I couldn't convince him that it wasn't his. He was determined to move the car, and eventually I just went with it. So when all the clumsy efforts to open the driver side door with the key (it fell several times into the fishy, muddy water typical for that street) didn't get him anywhere, I suggested he tried the passenger side door. Moment he stuck the key into the lock,tje alarm goes off.

Turns out the car belonged to someone who worked for the police and of course we were immediately surrounded by cops and taken to nearest station where we were kept until his CO (he was in active duty back then) came to clear our names.
Interesting detail: Soon before that happened we found a little kitten, which I had with me all the time. Even while in custody and during the trip to the hospital to get our blood tested.
 
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here is a pretty funny one, my buddy was grabbing clonazolam online and he shows up at my house falling all over the door as he is knocking. Beer can in his other hand....

I told him he couldn't come in as he is also a fighter (we are a couple wild micks and enjoy 'getting our irish up' as he calls it lol) *the problem is he will want to fight blacked out when I am stone sober and, well even a spar would be harsh.... Anyways we are walking down a bike path when sure enough dude hits the ground and loses consciousnes. Giving I had no idea how much he took or drank I didn't really have much choice but to get him to a hospital....

HERE IS WHERE SHIT GETS FUNNY, So they admit him and do some bloodwork to find out wtf is going on. At this point he wasn't under arrest and when they went to do the bloodwork he just got up and left.... Came back to my house pissed. At this point it seemed safe for him to taxi home to his roomates.

Lucky though, just wanders out of the hospital while they are doing his tests. No charges from said incident.

I got one more; so I am walking down the main drag in town and this beautiful scantily clothed girl kinda locked onto me. "lets grab some drinks and go to the beach"....."sure sounds good"......I get near the beach and like 5 or six large hispanic dudes appear. I just play it cool and take a couple drops out of my dropper. (to calm down). The dudes see a vial and basically demand it, split 100 mg between the 5 of them and looked at me like they planned to rob me..... I just kept walkin down the bikepath. Pretty soon all 5 or six are clinging to being awake. I stop and turn around and look at the girl as all these dudes go down pretty hard.

"So how do you feel about all of this now, I guess it is just me and you at the beach like I planned" Girl looks freaked out. "Im just fucking with you but remember this next time your feeling clever; here have this knife so you can at least protect yourself" Tosses small folding knife near her on the beach and take my leave

Not so much funny but interesting, you can indeed nod on acid, even nbome and still trip hard if you dose high enough with both.
 
i don’t really act any different in benzos or on other gabaergics so I just go to sleep.

Best story wasn’t benzos it was pregabalin. I had been abusing the hell out of the stuff snorting it. I swear this is the smoothest drug to snort I’ve ever put up my nose but pointless to snort effects wise.

Anyways I passed out face first in a dirty cat litter box (the funny part) to awake to my mom yelling at me and shaking me thinking I was dead.


You guys are making me want to abuse my benzos but every time I do I don’t feel shit and I just go to sleep unplanned in a chair or something…which is why I love them. I love getting knocked out to sleep instantly like that.
 
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LucidSDreamr said:
You guys are making me want to abuse my benzos but every time I do I don’t feel shit and I just go to sleep unplanned in a chair or something…which is why I love them. I love getting knocked out to sleep instantly like that.
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This is interesting, because though I can fall asleep better when on benzos, I do so only if want to. Like, actually lying down and closing my eyes. And curiously enough the same goes for friends who took way more than I do (tolerance and physical constitution I guess) and even the knock-out stuff like Fluniz
 
shit I lost my lost 200 mg of flunitrazolam!! left it out like an idiot (probaby blackd out) and when I returned it was gone and certainly noone that was cleaning wanted to hear about it. (or would want it honestly).

Gabapentin-- That stuff is like a couple shots of whiskey mixed with a hit of speed for me. It has made the no fly list. I did clean *and lose* alot of stuff when I was on it though. (the two stories are honestly urelated). I am like my dude luciddreamer, benzos are good to me and im sure I was low if I was turnin to somethin like that.

*interesting note, they now call it "gabapentinoid" where I live and lump it in with opis?? lol no clue the logic. Shared receptor maybe?
 
smokeymcpot42088 said:
*interesting note, they now call it "gabapentinoid" where I live and lump it in with opis?? lol no clue the logic. Shared receptor maybe?
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Are you in Alabama? Those fucking illiterates in state Congress made gabapentin a schedule 2 drug there.

Gabapentin does literally nothing at all to me. I would’ve thought it was a placebo pill. Pregabalin though will fuck me up.
 
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