I took several drug for month, almost every week, it can be lsd, 2cb, mdma, ketamine, benzo, tramadol, and now meth.
I took some ssri from therapist, didn't help me.
People can react very different to different types of SSRI's. It may take a while to find one that does work for you. My boyfriend also suffers from depression for years. He had to try a few different SSRI's to finally find one that actually improves his quality of life (under suprvision of his doctor ofcourse).
My mother has also dealt with mental health issues for her whole life and the SSRI's did nothing for her, she just felt numb but still had a very negative mindset and was easily over stimulated, couldn't sleep, had suicidal thoughts etc. Then she got an antipsychotic drug (she wasn't psychotic in the general meaning of the word) and it turned out that this was what she needed. I believe it was quetiapine. Now - about 8 years later- she's even able to reduce her dosage step by step in consultation with her doctor.
Anyway, I don't want to bore you with the stories of people you don't even know lol. But the moral of the story is: there may be other prescription drugs that may help you with your depression other than the SSRI you tried. Please ask your doctor or psychiatrist for help and advice and maybe try a different SSRI or SNRI/whatever for a while? It may be a hell of a journey to find the right one, but it will always be better than to self medicate with drugs.
Drugs like the ones you mention can sure be fun sometime, if you're able to use them recreationally. Unfortunately, when you have a mental illness it's really hard to use them recreationally and/or in a responsible manner.
Edit: Just wanted to add that you're obviously not as much of piece of shit you think you are (like you said in a previous post). It takes courage to tell your story and admit you might have a problem, even if it's anonymous on the internet. If you really were dumb or a piece of shit, you wouldn't even notice you have a problem. But you do and I know that it can take a lot of courage to even admit it to yourself. After all, it's easier to ignore it, and sugar coat it and just keep on using drugs, right? But you don't do that. The fact that you're acknowledging it and talk to people about it (even if it's strangers on the internet, doesn't matter) shows that you have the strength in you to want something better for yourself.
But I (unfortunately) know the feeling and you have to believe it yourself to really feel it. Me saying you're not a POS probably won't make you feel better about yourself as long as you don't believe it yourself. But maybe it will give you a little hope. Take care!