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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

zombie apocalypse... how would you survive??

I'd would once have thought in terms of breaking into my old secondary school, for the chemistry labs and CDT workshops. Although in the 30 years since I've been near the place, it's possible that they have improved security measures a bit. (Well, they could not have made them any worse.) If the bogs still stink like they used to, though, that'd probably be a good enough zombie repellent .....
 
Well I'd save you the trouble if I enlisted in your post-apocalyptic survival group as a squad member. I don't need to break into anywhere, just pop into the lab and use my own. I've been working on it all my life. Had to rebuild from scratch twice though, after the filth destroyed everything once and stole it the other time. Ever since though, well, I have a rule in case of some porcine piece of shite does any damage. So much as scratch a test tube, and for every item in ANY way damaged, I'll get a replacement, as well as a spare, and then spend ten times whatever both put together plus the loss of my original item of lab glass cost me on improving my facilities. And then likely as not go on a spending rampage on chemical supplies just because when I start lab shopping I generally don't stop until I'm living off protein shakes and pizzas with a bag of extra cheese and some canned sliced up black olives thrown in there for the next couple of weeks=D

(co-op do some really good own brand pizzas, stuffed crust double pepperoni, and that have a generous non-crust-stuffing assignment of cheese too as a rule at just the same price as a regular pepperoni pizza. I still like to throw some additional mozzarella on there, some monterey jack maybe too, and I do have to have my olives added myself, as I can't get enough of pickled olives generally but on pepperoni pizza? I'm eating the entire jar of olives before I'm satisfied.). Good pizzas to start with from co-op, especially the double pepperoni stuffed crust ones for the same price as a regular pepperoni pizza of their own brand ones, but they can be made better yet with more cheese and a fuckton of olives.

Got some of those earlier today actually, in preparation for a big blowout on more lab supplies and equipment (need to save enough too to get another gallon jug of methylene chloride, even recycling via distillation, I tend to go through quite a lot), plus some spicy king prawns from IIRC sainsbury's something like chili and coriander I think, just need to grab a fresh lime, jar of black pickled olives for each pizza plus bags of extra cheeses, and I think I might just try and see how a double pepperoni and black olives+extra cheeses mozzarella stuffed crust pizza covered in fried mozzarella prawn balls made from lime juice-spritzed coriander and chili pepper huge king prawns plays out.

If I've got to eat on the cheap so I can restock solvents and borohydride, grab more SOCl2 and LAH while I'm at it, and try to remember at I'm out of DMF this time, plus get the 33% anhydrous hydrogen bromide in glacial acetic acid I've been wanting to let me skip having to bugger about preparing triphenylphosphonium hydrogen bromide and thermally decomposing it by refluxing in anhydrous xylenes from azeotropic aqueous HBr and triphenylphosphine, extracting into DCM, before resolvating using boiling xylene, gassing the HBr produced into GAA, and finally vacuum distilling off the xylene to recover the triphenylphosphine for re-use...then I might as well get creative with a few cheap starting ingredients and juicing up of a cheap but already very good pizza, and using the rest of the lime, or at least those parts of it I don't just peel and eat like a more tasty but annoying to peel orange, to douse the couple of 2-pack breaded cod fillets in lime juice and get a three for one deal out of the limes (some juice for the prawns to make the fried mozzarella chili pepper and coriander king prawn balls, some for the fish, always good combinations, citrus and fish, IMO, and the rest of it, its just more fresh fruit)

Hm, reminds me, got a big bag of frozen blueberries for pudding, plus some chocolate fudge brownie ice cream, some raspberry sorbet that would go nicely with those, that could do with being eaten.

As for the apocalypse, given I couldn't grow them here in the UK, pickled olives would rate high on my to-steal list, after casing the pharmacies first, DIY hardware stores second (already got plenty metalworking tools, a metal lathe, drill press, grinders, glass-cutting drill bits made with diamond abrasive (plus some that aren't diamond cutters, but based on IIRC titanium carbide), brazing torch, would have to rig the lathe drive belt so I could drive it with a diesel or petrol fuelled generator of course.)

Would be stealing all the metal stock in brass, copper, aluminium and steel, plastic tubing and pipes, all the caustic soda, ammonium salt based fertilizer, concentrated sulfuric acid, and HCl, HCOOH, and H3PO4 based cleaners, descalers, bog unblockers etc., seeds of edible plants, morning glory seeds and batteries I could. Batteries would end up quickly being used up, aside from electrochemical based cells that can be made from chemical supplies, but portable batteries would be a very good commodity to have, both for trade and use, but quick to become too valuable to trade, for AA, AAA, C, D cells etc. sized ready to fit extant technology without having to rig up the tech and use portable packs of liquid or gel electrolyte redox type electrochemical cells and wiring the terminals to some copper plates that crocodile clips can be attached to.

For food to steal...obviously grab all the perishables, and eat those up first, as well as long life high protein and calorie dense foods, beef jerky, powdered or dried rehydratable meals, condiments and spices for making wild caught and killed animals tastier and easier to eat with more flavour, scoff down lots of dairy, cheeses, yoghurts, milk and milkshake mix, all the stuff that'll go off quickly and not be replaced soon, might as well have the perishables and blow out on them in the first few days since they'd all be fit for nothing pretty quickly, might as well eat them all before they rot.
 
OK, so we've got my place, probably my neighbours' place on one side (she'll be our Press Secretary, if we need someone to talk to any not-yet-zombified journalists; very telegenic. And not bad with a shotgun, in my fantasy at least), my old school and LC's well-equipped workshop. Once I've bodged the solar panels to work without a grid supply, we've got some juice, which is better than no juice. Neighbours on the other side are probably zombies themselves by now, so that's three houses for a headquarters this end. Plus LC's pad. Who else is up for some zombie-splattering action? FUBAR?
 
honestly i don't know which is funnier. ^ or v
F.U.B.A.R. said:
I'd eat my own brain - just to spite the fuckers...
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when saving one last round to load in the chamber just doesn't cut it. HAHAHA!

i would want to know a myriad of factors that are probably irrelevant to most.

in case of the event where i couldn't live upstream from everyone else for whatever reason and i had to live downstream. would i get it from drinking water from the stream? eating wildlife i caught? could i boil the water and kill the disease if that's how it spread other than through being bitten.
 
I'd learn how to cook meth then go for a run, so basically i'd just turn into a zombie, or alternatively can zombies swim ? I'd imagine a canal boat could keep you relatively safe, small windows, 1 entrance/exit, I'd keep a sharpened spade around to hack off heads
 
There is a school near here which would make a good base of operations, large, multiple buildngs, possible to get up on the roof (did as a kid), which would give sniper/spotter teams a place to pick off zombies from, and of course I could always do a few pretty iffy things to fire extinguishers, and turn them into flamethrowers, and to both throw and launch grenades with. Could build the grenades too, used to do just that as a wee kid too, stuff like firing launchers up into trees rather than using thrown branches to knock 'conkers' down out of horse chestnut trees. Should be easily fortifiable.

Something useful to have beforehand, in a bug-out pack would be direct alcohol fuel cells. Might not provide huge amounts of power, but fermentation and distillation would provide a ready supply of fuel (and when distilled much more thoroughly of course, for getting pissed. But sugars, yeast to brew the alcohol and distillation would be continuable indefinitely. These fuel cells use alcohols, such as methanol, not sure about EtOH but it wouldn't be at all surprising if its doable, directly as fuel converting the alcohol directly to electricity.

Could adapt a part of the school, given all the kids would be busy sucking people's brains out through their eyesockets by then anyway, somewhere to store resources, sleeping/recreation quarters, move the machine shop tools from my shed to another section, or pair of sections, one for preparing medicines and recreationals, and recreational medicines of course, And another to serve as my munitions, projectile weapons, explosives/incendiaries and poison gases R&D/manufacturing center (DEFINITELY one to keep separate from the meds and recreational supplies R&D/factory, no? getting the vials of some opiate, go- and no-go pills and powders accidentally come out of my workshops filled with nitrogen mustards or nerve agents....that would be very unfortunate indeed. And I don't do animal testing. I don't do it now and I wouldn't be doing it post-zombie-apocalypse (or any other variety of apocalypse..my skill set is good in that it isn't zombie-specific) I'm your 'full of surprises' kind of postapocalypse survivor. Generally quiet, reserved, but when it comes to it, more than capable of doing what is needed.

Oh, just remembered another talent, although it is one I'd have to cultivate again. I used to throw knives. Nice and quiet way to dispose of someone making an inconvenience of themselves. Poisoned knives, even better and more reliable.
 
I used to fantasise about this scenario when I was a kid. One of the first adult books I read (apart from Men Only) was 'I am Legend' by Richard Matheson (there was a shite film version starring Will Smith several years ago). It really caught my imagination and I thought how ace it would be to have no other people around and you could just help yourself to whatever you wanted. Ok, those pesky rabid zombie vampires could be a bit of a problem, but at least they're not your mum and dad...
 
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^ read that i am legend a few years ago after that shite movie came out. it's like 2 or 3 chapters long. good read.

i ran across this by chance, The Last Man On Earth starring Vincent Price. an old black and white movie from 1964 but it's based off the book. they really captured it with the creatures talking and trying to get him to lose it imo. sexy undead vampires trying to get you to come out and play big boy, what are you going to do?!

those pesky rabbit zombie vampire like creatures could be a real problem if we do away with guns in this country. their taste for carrots would be overcome by their taste for flesh and we'd be shit up a creek without a paddle. lifted riding lawnmower would be one solution.

to the room: back OT. i'm stuck in my current circumstances and lack access to funds, imagination and other things. luckily i live on the top floor of my building and i'm not a doomsday prepper or paranoid but i keep some extra food and water around in case i can't make it out and also if power or water shuts off cause it happens due to maintenance or accidents. it also doesn't hurt in the event the t-cell virus makes it's way into circulation.

there are so many people who congregate in the same area today all the food and supplies on the shelves would be taken. i think i could wait it out for a small time until most of the population is dead or zombified. i'm one of those people who has no problem gearing up and hunting through houses for food while wildlife re-populates itself. (pet food is gross to most but you can live off of it if need be)

ideally i would want to live in a penthouse where i could shut off power to elevator and barricade stairwell door, in the woods well stocked or a house with a shelter about 30 feet down and huge vault door. all the works, ventilation systems and what not.

gotta learn how to grow things out of mother earth (i grew up learning some of this but not all), using natural resources to provide shelter and clothing (like using oils and fats to make waterproof clothing) and the rest of humanity would have to be considered. no more society and government around doesn't mean everyone starts playing nice. i can't wait until i can think this one through and get back to you all. in the mean time i like some of these ideas.
 
I'll retract my canal boat option and make a pledge of allegiance to Limpet Chicken, he seems to have this on lock, I'll keep my sharpened spade though just in case we need a hole dug
 
invegauser said:
^ read that i am legend a few years ago after that shite movie came out. it's like 2 or 3 chapters long. good read.

i ran across this by chance, The Last Man On Earth starring Vincent Price. an old black and white movie from 1964 but it's based off the book. they really captured it with the creatures talking and trying to get him to lose it imo. sexy undead vampires trying to get you to come out and play big boy, what are you going to do?!

those pesky rabbit zombie vampire like creatures could be a real problem if we do away with guns in this country. their taste for carrots would be overcome by their taste for flesh and we'd be shit up a creek without a paddle. lifted riding lawnmower would be one solution.

to the room: back OT. i'm stuck in my current circumstances and lack access to funds, imagination and other things. luckily i live on the top floor of my building and i'm not a doomsday prepper or paranoid but i keep some extra food and water around in case i can't make it out and also if power or water shuts off cause it happens due to maintenance or accidents. it also doesn't hurt in the event the t-cell virus makes it's way into circulation.

there are so many people who congregate in the same area today all the food and supplies on the shelves would be taken. i think i could wait it out for a small time until most of the population is dead or zombified. i'm one of those people who has no problem gearing up and hunting through houses for food while wildlife re-populates itself. (pet food is gross to most but you can live off of it if need be)

ideally i would want to live in a penthouse where i could shut off power to elevator and barricade stairwell door, in the woods well stocked or a house with a shelter about 30 feet down and huge vault door. all the works, ventilation systems and what not.

gotta learn how to grow things out of mother earth (i grew up learning some of this but not all), using natural resources to provide shelter and clothing (like using oils and fats to make waterproof clothing) and the rest of humanity would have to be considered. no more society and government around doesn't mean everyone starts playing nice. i can't wait until i can think this one through and get back to you all. in the mean time i like some of these ideas.
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I'd not heard of 'The last man on Earth', I'll have to try and find it - I love Vincent Price, he's such a creepy fucker.
In the same vein was 'The Omega Man' with Charlton Heston (1971). I saw this as a young kid and it further fuelled my fantasies.

However, these days I tend to fantasise more about being the last man alive surrounded by a pack of BBW nymphos rather than zombie psychos...
 
I've got both regular and special trench-digging spades here actually. Could be useful. Not to mention handy for splitting decomposing skulls and splattering the brains out of slit-open putrid stomachs (something I read about vampires somewhere once-weakening them after they have fed by slitting their stomachs and leaving the blood to drain out. Maybe slitting the guts of a zombie that has fed, and giving them a good kick in the back to boot out all the rotting necrotic brain matter soup would work the same way)

The un-zombified humanity out there would all be useful. Most natural creatures are much harder to catch and kill. Avoid the nerve tissue to avoid possible prion diseases,just take the muscle tissue, use the offal as either fertillizer or for sale to other people you haven't eaten yet that are in the end stages of hunger and will trade anything for even the worst scraps of shittiest food as long as it isn't decaying. People=unsuspecting easily caught food. Offer them something in trade, then the moment they turn their back, stick a knife in their spine, trying to keep them alive, but paralyzed from the waist down, sever the tendons in their elbows to cripple them completely, and you could probably keep them on meat hooks for a while to preserve them longer. They'd never be expecting that from someone they just traded with. Or we could feed the offal to the slaves. Make a few raids on bradford or some such similar festering shit hole and steal some farm equipment from the mosques, go for the real trash, the ones from corner shops would have good muscle strength ideally from having to shift the produce in their former shops, before and after we raid and steal the shopkeepers, and of course any produce the little bastards might be hoarding, Initially feed them the stuff like intestines, stomachs and the slops in the stomachs eaten by people who either had to be killed, or who got harvested, then work them to death (well nobody is going to eat one, are they? main reason for stealing the ethnic garbage from bradford, nobody gives a damn about them, and NOBODY is going to get hungry for more than their rations and think to go eat piece of our farm equipment. Try to raise a few alive on the garbage, force them to procreate (sheesh! whoever would EVER have thought that somebody would WANT to MAKE bradfordian ethnic garbage procreate? right now everybody wants to prevent it, but that way we would have organic garbage disposal, and slaves, and then we could roast the meat, make jerky and sell it to people, people who don't know that it has't come from people, but from something truly disgusting)...for once in the history of this universe and any parallel universes, bradford would repay to humanity the immense debt owed by it to the human population for it's mere existence.

Slaves, disposal for stuff that could otherwise rot and attract disease-spreading flies. All the fruit peels, going-off food that isn't quite rotten, that kind of crap,as long as it doesn't sicken them enough prevent even the crack of the whip and the shock prod forcing them back to work,and when worked to death, either food strictly for trading to people, and/or using the leftovers for both fertilizer for the crops, and the bones for making tools and the occasional shiv or long handled pick set with teeth and bone shards.

Although when stealing the bradford farm equipment,nobody would eat that knowing what it came from, even if they are willing to man up and eat people, when actually harvesting people, would be a good idea to dry out the livers and kidneys in slices for preservation, because a human liver would contain lots of vitamin A, kidneys rich in iron, and likewise, any blood we can't use for transfusions, (I can help do the typing, I've got the microscope,slides etc.) then dry it out for a source of dietary iron. Maybe we could even harvest the pancreases for helping refine insulin, That would be a commodity people couldn't do without that would quickly run out, and people would get very, very desperate (and it'd earmark those looking for it for future harvest)

And of course you get your stuff back too, they won't have any use for it once you've strung them up on a meat hook in a cellar somewhere. No need to feed them either, because you are only going to be eating them over the next week or two. Plus getting them back to base before cutting their throats to bleed them would be a good idea. Blood could be distilled for water, possibly harvested for transfusions (securing and preserving blood units would be a very important thing in case of severe, but non zombifying injuries, rob the hospitals too, take EEEVERYTHING, from surgical and local anaesthetics to scalpels, autoclaves, even the medical imaging equipment and computers with the software to run them, those could be a game changer in cases of severe injury to party members)

And of course antibiotics. I've got a lot of penicillin too, in various types, for trade. I can't use it myself, but I have many courses of different kinds of penicillin. Allergic myself, so I only ever use it for keeping fungal cultures clean of contaminants in petri dishes, but there is literally a huge bag full of blister packs of courses of penicillins. Useful for the squad at large though, just not to me, unless I can isolate antibiotic-productive organisms from soil samples.
Otherwise, for healing the squad (IMO antibiotics of any kinds would VERY rapidly accumulate value, and if traded AT ALL, would command massive prices in useful and quality goods. At least if the person being traded with wished themselves or their loved one to live, rather than dying slowly and horribly from septicaemia. Although no eating the (regular-infected) infected. After all, who would want to eat a cut of meat putrid blood had been running through, and then, whilst gnawing on their rack of BBQ ribs, or chewing away at their person-chop, find they had just bitten deeply into a big,fat abscess, leaving, stinking greenish blood-striped pus dribbling down their chin ? ew. I can think of few things more disgusting in a meal than chomping into somebody's leg, and finding you've got a river of slimy, worcestershire sauce-marinaded pus sliding down the back of your throat. God that'd be as minging as trying to eat one of the slaves. At least before they have been cut up, dried, ground or chipped to be dug into the soil for the plants to grow from. Maybe plants would tolerate islamite-and-bonemeal fertilizer, even if we can't eat the things.
 
Anyone catch any of that Z-movie that was just on on the horror channel, freeview 70? 'zombie strippers'

That had to be THE worst one, possibly the worst fucking MOVIE I've ever seen. A fucking zombie movie, with the shambling horror types, sort of, these moved like normal. Neither shambling brainless automata in hordes, or the 28 days later type, or resident evil kind of thing. These ones moved like people, acted like people (E.g stripping) and TALKED to their fucking victims.

When was the last time any of you heard ANY zombie SAY something, ANYTHING but 'hhhcccccssssssssss!' or 'uuurrrhhhhhhhhhhh....ghhuuurrr'', or just maybe 'rraaarrrrggHHHHHHHHH!!!!!'
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
I'd not heard of 'The last man on Earth', I'll have to try and find it - I love Vincent Price, he's such a creepy fucker.
In the same vein was 'The Omega Man' with Charlton Heston (1971). I saw this as a young kid and it further fuelled my fantasies.

However, these days I tend to fantasise more about being the last man alive surrounded by a pack of BBW nymphos rather than zombie psychos...
Click to expand...

i heard that about The Omega Man, will definitely check it out.

read your post right before i passed out. found a big dent in my mattress when i woke up this morning. thanks for the candy coated dreams. ;)

@Limpet_Chicken: the only time i ever watched an izombie episode and any of these new movies where they're turned but retain enough humanity to want to change, it's like watching a vampire glitter in the sun. run, they can walk in the sun now. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

idk what europeans think about australians. i know a lot of americans treat the idea of them like anything else exotic and paradise like... with way too much enthusiasm. (they built a disney resort on hawaii and imported meth there. WTF?!) but one australian zombie movie i thought improved upon resident evil in one sick way is kinda related to what your talking about. it's called Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead 2014.

lady develops a super power that's pretty sweet without going ballistically out of context of the lore of zombies. plus the aborigines don't appear to be stereotype neanderthals in it, they have some funny lines imo.
 
Well until white explorers came along and the aboriginals lived in their traditional way, as hunter-gatherers with very few possessions, it probably wasn't that different than neanderthal life (bearing in mind I am not using 'neanderthal' as synonym for 'sub human ape' (they must have been much closer to us than chimps, or even bonobos; neanderthals that is; or ancient, yet geneticallyspeaking modern human species would not have interbred, it wouldn't have been possible, afterall, shag a chimp and what do you get? FUBAR's mom, of course, but no children)

And in terms of lifestyle, those aboriginals who retain their original way of life, or as close to it as modern white settler culture exposure permits are likely not dissimilar to neanderthal man
expert in living off their lands and not much different in their core needs, I.e water, food etc,those aren't requirements that at their most basic, change for a hunter-gathering tribal society
things likely not to change living from millenia to centuries, keeping to their traditional ways)
 
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