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Do you have any regrets from your life, involving drugs?

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DickJohnson

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
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36
Meaning, if you could go back and not do a certain drug, or not do as much, etc., would you change your past?
Personally, i don't believe i would. Every choice i've made with drugs that seemed like a bad decision at the time, has now revealed itself to me as a blessing, in one way or the other and it's all made me stronger and wiser. After all, "we have onlytwo jobs on this earth. The first, to learn. The second, to cope."
 
when i became addicted to benzos and got kicked out of uni
when i OD'd on heroin and fent and had to learn to walk again

yep
 
Ohh man...I hold a similar value, I have no regrets, and there's nothing I would have done differently, as it's made me the person I am.. BUT I sure as hell wouldn't wish the struggles I've had with hard drug addiction on anyone else.. Heroin is one nasty nasty drug, that will always feel amazing, and never ever leave your mind. Along with alll other opiates... at this point I'm no longer phisically dependent on any opiate/opioid.. but the psychological addiction is SO real..not a day goes by where I don't think about sniffing an opana, or some DTB, or pop a handful of percs/loratab..it's just life. I know I will struggle with addiction my whole entire life. And while I may be okay with that, for now, I sure as hell wouldn't wish it on someone else...
 
Not really drugs have been a driving factor in my life for accomplishment. Part of the reason I did well in university chemistry was because of my background of trying to figure out how drugs work. Technically the whole love for science can be traced back to an obsession with fire when I was young but the teenage me fell in love with chemistry and psychology because of drugs.

Even though I was an alcoholic in college, drank at least 375mL of vodka a night for 2 years, left college and started an opiate addiction leading to IV heroin finally getting on subs relapsing after a year clean and getting on methadone, smoking crack daily for about 2 years... I am back to just smoking maybe half a gram of weed a day perhaps a full gram when i go "hard"

I owe who i am to my experiences. Sure could i have maybe done without the heroin and crack, maybe... but quitting those set forth this great transformation where I actually could be thankful for being me now because the me before was weak and lacked priorities and discipline. I wish I knew this me 10 years ago when I was in college because I had all the talent for chemistry just zero discipline so id drink a bottle of vodka instead of studying and still do well but I feel like now id be top of the class not being fucked up and hung over constantly.

I do not think about opiates or cocaine and had an easy time quitting all that stuff even subs and then methadone because i knew if there was anyone who could it was me. Now that i have proven I can quit things that others have difficulty with through sheer will and determination i cant view the world as my equal rather i know my purpose, my goals, and how to get them. I have abundant proof if i dedicate my mind to something i can over come and do a lot of stuff others may fall short on.

I generally say it like this there are so few battle fields one gets to prove themselves on and on the battle field of IV heroin and crack i have seen so many people not return. To come back from such a hell relatively unscathed is a testament to who we are as clean people who will never go back. I can say "i know what i am capable of through determine and will" and mean it with memories of a hell others cant fathom.
 
Not really. I did perkies and vicodin every weekend for over 5 years and right now it looks like it's over with because of the fucked up supply situation. Respect the drug and it can have a place in your life alongside any other thing that brings you joy
 
Started taking benzos an then got a script 4 years ago, I'm 26 an my short term memory loss is terrible. An then about 2 months ago I started messing with thisSubutex, an not much about 1mg 2 mg snorted, but damn I'm addicted now, a week turned into 2 months, an now I'm about to rail a opana 15mg er. Iv been sober for about 4 days atleast three times the past couple months, but its always that last day its so fucking mental an I get the urge to use again. Please help, iv never had this problem before, an now I'm a full blown addict.
 
Do you have regrets from your life, involving drugs? Yes, Yes, Yes.

@keeping

When I became addicted to alcohol, then quickly later, to Roche Valium, and, still in my early 20's, became pathologically addicted to Methaqualone,
causing me to get kicked out, or withdraw from several Universities in USA, due to being on academic probation, I quit both Universities, before I
was Suspended. (University of Georgia, Athens, Ga, and University of Miami, Coral Gables, FLA USA

When I lost the love of my life in the above time period, had a planned marriage, "called off permanently" due to my Benzo/Alcohol/Quaalude addiction.
When I manipulated my fiance, (the same girl I was planning to marry, have a legal, abortion, due to my immaturity, also causing her harm, as she
dropped out of both Universities, (heartbroken). Many, many years ago.

Ten years later, when I experimented with Cocaine, by snorting the powered drug, and for a 24 month time period in my early 30's, I was manipulated into
graduating from inhaling powered Cocaine, to using Cocaine, by IV, for 24 months in a row. I lost a re-placement girlfriend, brains, beauty, no kids, no
problems, (held two titles of USA beauty contests) due to my Cocaine addiction.

I made a complete turnaround, for a very good life, after age 33, for several decades, but the mistakes, I made ages 18 to 34, have haunted me to this day
the rest of my life. Age 18 to 34 are precious times, when, IMHO, most opportunities, are available, and after age 35, it's most gradually, was all down
hill, for me. I could never truly forgive myself for the errors, I made (age 18 to 34) in spite, of vast accomplishments after age 35 !!!!
 
Not really. I didn't start doing drugs until later in life, 6 1/2 years ago to be exact. I can't say that I regret trying weed because it's been very beneficial in a lot of areas in my life but it has also had a negative impact as well. Weed being my gateway drug introduced me to drugs and addictions that I wouldn't have had if I stayed drug free. Not to mention the thousands I've spent on 6 years of daily weed use along with what I've spent on opioids, kratom, benzos, amphetamines and probably 1 or 2 others that I can't think of ATM.
 
I wish I could take back my Xanax blackout days. In my sophomore- senior years of high school I would occasionally take way too much Xanax and booze. It wasn't a regular thing but every couple weeks I would cut loose and blackout, usually consuming every drug I had in my possession as well.

I lost a lot of respect from people but I suppose it was a valuable lesson, don't fuck with Xanax and alcohol.
 
Avoiding opiates in general should probably be my answer but I just can't bring myself to saying that because in essence it is not fully true. I will say that I regret the decision I made to use while deployed to Afghanistan in 2007 and the chain reaction of events it set off in my life. If I could take that part back I would. I wish I could....
 
regrets? i don't know.
certainly, i made some bad choices (i've made many) - but 'regret" is a pretty heavy word - and i try not to dwell on my mistakes too much.
if i hadn't ben through the shit i've been through, life would be different - but i'm not into trying to justify drug use as beneficial either.

sometimes it is, but most of the time it probably isn't, at least for me. i sometimes think my creativity is really helped by drugs, but sometimes i just use being creative as an excuse to take drugs.
when i write or play music straight, i realise it was me all along that could create great stuff - not the drugs.

it's quite easy to delude yourself into thinking you'd be useless without the drugs IME
 
I don't regret doing opiates, since I still take them here and there with no issues. However, I do regret getting into them at such a young and immature age. Like so many others, my opiate use became an IV heroin addiction, which led to hepatitis C. And although I cleared the virus and never tested positive again, 45 weeks of interferon was absolute hell. Not to mention the stress of wondering if I'd die because hep c, and the countless horrific situations heroin addiction led me into.

Alcohol got me into A LOT of trouble in my late teens and early 20's, including two DWIs, both coming after really bad car accidents. Definitely wish I'd never drank the way I used to. Nowadays I can't stand it, and I'm grateful for that...
 
I regret abusing opiates the most (which I still have to take due to chronic pain) not because of the overdoses and 1oo k I've spent on them...but because of the damage they have done to my professional life because they make me emotionally unstable and less able to cope with stress...thus causing problems at work with colleagues and higher ups.

Also caused problems with girlfriend for same reasons but those are easier to repair
 
spacejunk said:
regrets? i don't know.
certainly, i made some bad choices (i've made many) - but 'regret" is a pretty heavy word - and i try not to dwell on my mistakes too much.
if i hadn't ben through the shit i've been through, life would be different - but i'm not into trying to justify drug use as beneficial either.

sometimes it is, but most of the time it probably isn't, at least for me. i sometimes think my creativity is really helped by drugs, but sometimes i just use being creative as an excuse to take drugs.
when i write or play music straight, i realise it was me all along that could create great stuff - not the drugs.

it's quite easy to delude yourself into thinking you'd be useless without the drugs IME
Click to expand...

Don't delude yourself into thinking that because you were under the influence, the work you did is somehow less worthy or "wasn't you, but the drugs". First, if someone else, like me for example, was in your position with the same drugs in their system, they wouldn't have done the same thing - so it definitely comes from you, not the substance. Second, using "something" doesn't diminish the result - meditating before doing creative work isn't associated with feeling as if the meditation did the job, not you - same goes for mind-altering substances, because let's be honest, many things, like meditation etc, are also mind-altering albeit not being straight chemical ways of doing so.
 
I get asked this sometimes. If I wish I'd never started using opioids. The answer is no. Not because they've been anything less than profoundly destructively but because I truly don't think there was ever any chance I wasn't gonna wind up here. There are lots of bad choices I wish I could undo. But starting to use drugs isn't something I felt I had any choice in. If I hadn't I'd likely have killed myself instead. It feels less like I found drugs and a lot more like drugs found me. So I don't think in terms of "if I'd just not started". There's lots of shit I wish I could take back, but oddly enough using or not using has never felt like something I had any choice in. It was always gonna happen.
 
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