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This is my last post , I have lost hope (mdma) damage

T

TrulyBlessed87

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 2, 2013
Messages
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Please don't merge this thread with the mdma recovery thread . I apologize but I need to know has anyone recovered past the 3 years and a half point . The mdma recovery thread has too many newcomers . I took a high dose of mdma 3 and a half years ago . I have been to every doctor so I don't want to hear about a doctor . My anxiey is better but my face is pressurized and my back and neck always hurt I am consistly dizzy . My question to anyone who recovered has any one just suddenly felt better after a long time like this or should I just expect this is it. It doesn't have to be about mdma but anyone who felt like shit for a couple years and came out of it let me know thank you
 
Hey TrulyBlessed87! I'm sorry you're still feeling bad. I can related to how anxious and scared you must be as so much time has passed and you're still not feeling yourself. I was on Xanax for ten years. I was forced to stop Xanax cold turkey, and was only given an antisiezure med for support. I went through two years of freakishly bad benzo PAWS (protracted withdrawal), and am still recovering. It has been six years since my last benzo. I feel that I am about 80% recovered, but it continues to get better.

Though I've never done MDMA, I know some of the damage that it does to the brain takes a long time to heal. I don't remember the specifics as it was addressed in rehab back in 2010 but I suspect you may be in my situation where it's a very slow progression forward .

I did query MDMA regarding exitotoxicity and did find this article. If this article is correct then you are in my situation and just have to wait it out. It does get better - I promise. Some things that I found that help with the healing process or clean eating, getting plenty of sleep, and learning how to deal with stress and anxiety and a productive fashion. I found that meditation, mindfulness, and cognitive behavioral therapy to be the most effective with respect to anxiety. I don't know what your current situation is now, but it would be best to avoid all drugs aside from those that are prescribed to you. Aside from that, I don't have much advice. Feel free to message me with questions, or if you just want to vent your frustrations. It's a horrible situation to be in, but it will get better. I wish you the best of luck!

https://etd.ohiolink.edu/ap/10?0::NO:10:P10_ACCESSION_NUM:ucin1353342344
 
Thanks moreaux , I talked to you before and I did feel better about my situation and I really appreciate the reply. The fatigue and just feeling off and dizzy. Not to mention the fatigue .
 
Hi truly, sorry to hear you are still suffering... I have seen vast improvement after the 4 year mark, with little improvement before then, and this was because I did not exercise my entire body and effectively treat my pain and weakness. I think if you have physical pain, musculoskeletal issues, and lightheadedness (Deconditioning) THOSE ISSUES NEED TO BE ADDRESSED IN ORDER TO SEE IMPROVEMENT OF MENTAL SYMPTOMS. Please trust me on this one.

I am very well versed in physical therapy (It is the only reason why I am still here) and I would be glad to try and help you. Can you tell me all about what activities you have trouble with, and about your pain? Do you have pain sitting?

Personally I had to engage in a rigorous physical therapy routine for a couple months to see improvement in both physical and mental symptoms, you might see improvement sooner. It will be important to eat plenty of carbs and protein. If you have back/spine issues stretching will be a must. I recommend stretching hip adductors and hip flexors to start with. Stretching scalenes and SCM will help with neck pain for many, and tightness in these muscles can be a great source of headaches/facial pain/jaw pain. These muscles (scalenes) are common to have troubles with in people that have anxiety because they are inhalation muscles that you kick in when you hyperventilate or breathe too much with your chest, instead of moving your abdomen (how humans SHOULD naturally breathe). Youtube is FANTASTIC for learning stretches and exercises if you can't get to a physical therapist. Your pain might get worse before it gets better concerning stretches, but its very likely it will get worse before it gets better concerning exercises. Both are equally important, although some people need more of one than the other.

Cardio will improve the dizziness (especially if it is pronounced while standing up and gets better while laying down) but it can take 2+ months of 4 times a week 20 minutes of running. I was also so bad personally that I had to do individual muscle exercises and lots of stretching just to get to the point where I could do cardio to improve my bloodflow to the brain. Once my overall aerobic conditioning got better things started improving rapidly. At one point I couldn't stand up for more than a couple minutes out a time, and my neurologist recommended "Aggressive standing". That's how bad it was lol. I couldn't sit in a chair for more than a couple minutes at a time because I had so much muscle atrophy in my spine. I didn't move my right arm/hand for 3 months because the whole thing turned purple and burned because my arteries and nerves were getting pinched (that's how bad my posture was). I started out as being able to do only 5 squats or so, and that was really hard.

During my youth I was in fantastic shape without ever appreciating it - now I know better. I really recommend you work on your physical fitness. Your mental symptoms will improve once you do this. I'd be glad to help you pinpoint what muscles you need to exercise and stretch if you can tell me about your pains. And cardio might be more important for some, I know it was for me. Amphetamines and MDMA are big causes of deconditioning.
 
Thanks Cotcha , I would appreciate your help . My main issue seems to be autonomic dysfunction but the diziness I believe is not from deconditioning because I get especially dizzy if I turn my head and my scalenes are super tight and know one can help me with them. I have severe muscle tension in my arms especially my left arm. I also have tight legs . I actually started to run and lift weight from the past month and my running had gotten much better. I used to actually never run even when younger and I am the fattest I have ever been. The issue that bothers me is that I get super dizzy after working out in the eyes. My muscles are so tight in my face and eyes I feel like I'm brain damaged . I also have hppd at night and it is devestating. I am getting discouraged because I feel like shit after exercise which never happened before.
 
I also am having very bad heat intolerance . I believe I am similar to you I don't seem to have good blood flow to the brain due to tightness. I just feel so out of it after exercise . I am always
Dizzy
 
Hang in there.

It is well established that tight scalenes and such can pinch off bloodflow to the head, nerves to the face (see thoracic outlet syndrome and the associated all too common headaches and facial pain/jaw pain), and also pinch the nerves and arteries to the arms. It's possible to have all this without specifically arm issues but for a quick test I suggest seeing if your arms are crappy above your head: hold them above your head for 30 seconds, open and close your hands really fast and see if they get weak. A pec minor stretch, as well as scalene stretch and mobilization is what you need but if that doesn't work there is always surgery and Botox injections to take your scalenes out of commission for a couple months. Anterior scalene is most commonly playing a role but middle scalene often is an issue as well.

Orthostatic hypotension / postural orthostatic hypotension has been reported after MDMA - I am unsure about the pathology. It could be from any number of things, either dysfunction at the level of the brain, the (I believe they are called) "vasomotor receptors" IN THE NECK ARTERIES (a physical therapist once told me it is these receptors in the neck arteries that detect the stretch of the vascularity and adjust blood pressure accordingly). Deconditioning of the heart doesn't help and in many cases exercise can really help put orthostatic hypotension /POTS into remission, so even if we think your problem doesn't have to do with your heart strengthening your heart will still help.

Heat intolerance is often times overlapping with POTS and dysautonomia. There is testing to make sure that upon provocation with acetylcholine your sweat glands kick in okay. There is also testing for POTS, such as the table tilt test.

I'll have to write more tomorrow, as I am almost to work. Investigate the scalene muscles/SCM and how to stretch them properly, and practice breathing without moving your chest (this took me forever to get remotely good at) because this is what kicks up the scalenes (very common for things to flare after cardio because of the breathing and these muscles). Investigate Botox for the scalene muscles, anterior scalene injection is what most often compressed the nerves that run to the head, I personally only got lidocaine which lasts only a day but I got some relief from the symptoms you report, but only on the side I got injected lol.

Toodles :)
 
Sometimes mobilization of the fascia is necessary before the scalenes really want to stretch. I'd check for an ASTYM/Graston technique provider in your area, but massage (and not just dinky stuff) should be tried too.

Fascia and scar tissue are two things that have troubled me greatly. I personally think that MDMA can contribute to excess fascia type tissue due to its activation of a serotonin receptor 5HT2B that causes differentiation of cells that produce collagen called fibroblasts - this is known to be the mechanism of MDMA induced cardiac fibrosis.

One study showed about 30% of heavy MDMA users (I think the lifetime average was like above 500 uses) met criteria for different heart conditions, some 30% had valvular heart disease of the various valves. If it is within your means and you were on the heavy side of MDMA abuse I would consider pursuing an echocardiogram to check for valvular heart disease. I can produce the study concerning MDMA and cardiac fibrosis if you like, but I am mostly mentioning this not because I think you have valvular heart disease but rather just to impress upon you that it is possible that MDMA stimulates fibrosis of tissues, so tissue mobilization techniques are probably important.

If you weren't a heavy user of MDMA I wouldn't worry about the heart disease thing, and definitely don't let it stop you from exercising - if anything let it motivate you to increase the strength of your heart with cardio. I was previously convinced I had valular heart disease (and I was a really heavy abuser) but now I don't think so because of how much improvement I noticed with long term cardio.

What would you say your lifetime usage of MDMA was? More than 100 times or at pretty high doses? Any use of psychedelics like mushrooms? Did you take a lot of 5HTP? Just curious.
 
Considering the benefits I got from MDMA use I'll take the deal that the possibility that any of my current condition was caused by that and all other psychedelic use. I'll never forget my first MDMA experience. 6 hours of pure bliss, love and compassion for a suffering existence. I'll take that to my grave.
 
Hey cosmic, just thought I would comment on your experiences with a neuroscientist Sam Harris's views (which I hope I'm representing accurately) that you might find interesting. Essentially his views were that meditation is also a path to a similar experience of empathy but that people typically first need psychedelics to open their minds to be capable of pursuing a more sustainable state of mind achieved with meditation.

I think he said something along the lines of "many people practice meditation without achieving anything particularly special, but with psychedelics all you have to do is give somebody 4 grams of mushrooms and ask them to lie down on a couch for an hour and you are guaranteed to have a special experience". Something like that I think...
 
Cotcha Yankinov said:
Sometimes mobilization of the fascia is necessary before the scalenes really want to stretch. I'd check for an ASTYM/Graston technique provider in your area, but massage (and not just dinky stuff) should be tried too.

Fascia and scar tissue are two things that have troubled me greatly. I personally think that MDMA can contribute to excess fascia type tissue due to its activation of a serotonin receptor 5HT2B that causes differentiation of cells that produce collagen called fibroblasts - this is known to be the mechanism of MDMA induced cardiac fibrosis.

One study showed about 30% of heavy MDMA users (I think the lifetime average was like above 500 uses) met criteria for different heart conditions, some 30% had valvular heart disease of the various valves. If it is within your means and you were on the heavy side of MDMA abuse I would consider pursuing an echocardiogram to check for valvular heart disease. I can produce the study concerning MDMA and cardiac fibrosis if you like, but I am mostly mentioning this not because I think you have valvular heart disease but rather just to impress upon you that it is possible that MDMA stimulates fibrosis of tissues, so tissue mobilization techniques are probably important.

If you weren't a heavy user of MDMA I wouldn't worry about the heart disease thing, and definitely don't let it stop you from exercising - if anything let it motivate you to increase the strength of your heart with cardio. I was previously convinced I had valular heart disease (and I was a really heavy abuser) but now I don't think so because of how much improvement I noticed with long term cardio.

What would you say your lifetime usage of MDMA was? More than 100 times or at pretty high doses? Any use of psychedelics like mushrooms? Did you take a lot of 5HTP? Just curious.
Click to expand...

Just curious, is 5-htp harmful? I take have been taking 100mg a night and noticed that it has lifted my moods...

Thx!
 
Hey there TrulyBlessed,
I'm so sorry about your condition, I can not tell you for sure if you will ever feel 100% better.
I am still not feeling 100% after my 3-meo-pcp overdose, but it gets a tiny bit better over time.
It sounds like you're having MDMA-Induced Serotonergic Dysfunction and/or Chronic fatigue syndrome.
One megadose of MDMA most likely has caused some damage to the brain, but luckily the brain does heal back to normal over time.
It may take multiple years until you feel 100% normal again.
For the time being try some OTC medicines to help ease your symptoms.
What helps with the dizzy spells are some motion-sickness medicines,
even some herbal extracts may help with your fatigue.
Some you may try:
-A high-quality antioxidant formula plus a B-100 B-complex supplement
-Eleuthero (Eleutherococcus senticosus, sometimes called Siberian ginseng), 500 mg three times daily
-CoEnzyme Q10, 60-120 mg daily
-Raw garlic, two cloves daily
-Astragalus root, 500 mg three times daily

Take it one day at a time, it should get better.
Much love to you.
 
Hey everyone, Thanks for the posts I have done an echocardiogram and have no valvular disease thank god . My heart has a normal ejection fraction . My mdma use was not spread over a long time . Basically it was 3 months of hardcore abuse with mdma crystals that ruined me. I have become a cardiophob due to thinking there is some damage to my heart but fibrosis would effect the pumping action of the heart so I think it would show on an echo an abnormality.
 
I think they say that 5htp does have the ability to stimulate valve problems in the heart as well. I don't know about your benzo withdrawal but usually makes thinks worse with mdma withdrawal.
 
Moreaux said:
Just curious, is 5-htp harmful? I take have been taking 100mg a night and noticed that it has lifted my moods...

Thx!
Click to expand...

I don't think it'll be too bad to take it for a couple years but I personally recommend trying St. John's wort if you are having success with 5-HTP, not sure if I would combine the two though.

Taking the amino acid L-tryptophan that your brain makes serotonin out of could be helpful as well even though you'll get some in any protein.
 
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