• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

desperate wife needs advice

S

smiles1983

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
2
I recently found shemale, tranny gay etc porn and escort websites on husband's phone. He is either cheating or wants to with a shemale, tranny etc. Said he's not but, i see the websites on his phone. Can I satisfy those needs for him
Is there anything I can try to save this marriage. I will TRY anything n if I can't do it at least I'll know I tried
 
Could be pure fantasy on his behalf? Just because he is watching porn (any porn) does not automatically mean he is cheating on your OR that he desires the type of porn he is watching.

Porn, dating sites etc can be a form of escapism, something out of the normal.

If he is watching gay / tran / shemale porn - you as a woman probably cannot satisfy that fantasy.
 
smiles1983 said:
I recently found shemale, tranny gay etc porn and escort websites on husband's phone. He is either cheating or wants to with a shemale, tranny etc. Said he's not but, i see the websites on his phone. Can I satisfy those needs for him
Is there anything I can try to save this marriage. I will TRY anything n if I can't do it at least I'll know I tried
Click to expand...

I'm sure this is quite unsettlingly for you, however, sometimes men (perhaps women too but I am speaking from my own experience) watch certain types of porn because what they normally watch isn't cutting it anymore.

That seems to be quite common for those who ingest a large amount of pornography.

I find that occurring within myself when I did just a year or two ago. I watched basically what would be considered "vanilla" porn be it male/female or lesbian scenes and those were more than enough. However, over time the more of the "vanilla" porn I consumed the less stimulating it became and I noticed myself venturing off into more extreme types of pornography that I had really no interest in before.

Perhaps this is what's happened with your husband. It doesn't necessarily mean he is attracted to shemales and etc...he could have just been exploring something he himself found particularly deviant out of sheer morbid fascination.

The same could be said in regards to the escort websites, he may have been curious and decided to look at it.

If someone were to look through my current browsing history on my phone or my laptop then you'd get the impression I was searching for materials to produce free-base cocaine, methamphetamine and MDMA, when the reality is, is that I have a love for Chemistry and I find the manufacturing process of narcotics and their chemical make-ups to be extremely fascinating.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Try sitting down with him and have an open honest discussion, ask him if it's what I described.

Worst-case scenario? He is bi-sexual and you didn't know about it.

That'd be a shock for sure, but it wouldn't have to be the end of your marriage.

-HAM
 
Kinda experienced this too

I can tell you that I found on my husbands phone links to escort services. I was going apeshit! I decided to ask him about it in a non-accusing way. We have always had an active sex life and it was eating me up inside that he could be looking for some strange. It turns out that the porn sites he was visiting had pop ups that were leading him to the escorts. He wasn't looking for escort services at all. He went online and showed me how it happened. To me, the porn sites are harmless. I would just talk to him about it. If you don't, it will make you crazy and envision the worst case scenario. Who knows, maybe it could be something you could enjoy together.
 
I'm sure this is quite unsettlingly for you, however, sometimes men (perhaps women too but I am speaking from my own experience) watch certain types of porn because what they normally watch isn't cutting it anymore.
Click to expand...

I agree with that. I've found myself watching porn that really doesn't attract me because 1) I'm too curious to watch some video which sounds weird, unusual or extreme. 2) While I have no sexual interest in shemales etc in real life, I find it interesting/strangely erotic to watch them. I guess I just find things that deviate from the 'norm' to be somewhat exciting. But this rarely actually results in masturbation but instead I just watch it then move onto something that actually gets me going when I wanna flog it. 3) Normal porn does become pretty boring and less stimulating after a while. I rarely watch standard stuff anymore and I'm always searching for some cool niche or something new to watch. Porn is similar to drugs in the sense that you build a 'tolerance' often needing more extreme stuff to be stimulated when you watch it too much.

Just talk to your guy about it. I wouldn't be surprised if it's a similar scenario. You can't just jump to the conclusion that he wants to cheat on you with shemales based upon his history.
 
Just because he is watching porn does not mean he is cheating on you.. that's just ignorant thinking.
Talk to your husband about it.
I mean REALLY talk, not just assume and judge. Ask him questions about his sexual satisfaction and fantasies.
 
Solution: buy a strap on... bang your husband in the butt.

If that doesn't work, both of you go out on a date to some gay clubs...
 
Maybe he isn't cheating, he just has this fetish... and if he seemed super defensive when confronted about it, he was prob just embarrassed. If your willing to do ANYTHING to save your marrage then maybe you could try role play in the bedroom, or put on a video, like porno or erotica that involves transgendered people while you are getting intimate. If all else fails there is always theropy (couples or not).Good luck...
 
He might just be jacking his dick or was curious. There also may be a chance a coworker used his phone to fuck with him since he obviously does not know how to lock it.

You should just talk to him. If he is having sex with other people you may need to be tested for stds but first just talk before you get freaked out.

See what is up with him and just flat out show him what you found on his phone and ask him to explain.

I will say that is some abnormal shit for a straight man to jack off to but a man does have a right to jack off sometimes even if he is married.

So find out if he just jacks off to weird shit, has some fantasies about being fucked up the ass, is kinda into men, or is having sex with other people.
 
I have similar fantasies as your husband. In his case it might not mean much at all, sometimes men need a little something extra to pull their pork. It could also be just the lure of something totally impossible in reality for him.

In my case it is something that I was able to talk to my wife about. It was a very liberating experience realising we could talk about stuff like that and that she did not reject or judge me for it. We sometimes bring it up in the bed room and it always gets a good laugh. "I know I suck better than you", that sort of childish behaviour ;)
Unfortunately for me she is uncomfortable exploring that further with me. Which is a shame because I wouldn't mind her getting extra kinky on me once in a while !
You should definitely have a good talk about this with your husband. Be gentle, for some this is a shameful fantasy to have and it could be hard for him to open up about it. The fact that you are open to trying new things with him is really positive and I hope your husband realises he's lucky to have you.
 
I had this friend who felt like his girlfriend was being nosey and spying on him. She was always checking his cell phone, email, browser history, etc without his knowledge or permission. She wa always suspicious and jealous of females he knew. Even of men even though he was not into gay sexual experiences. He did not, btw, ever cheat on her.

When he found out she was being snoopy, he asked her to stop it. She did not stop it but only became sneakier with her spying. He caught her doing it enough times that he decided he would teach her a lesson. He loaded his browser history with the filthiest gay, scat, tranny, shemale, etc porn and animal porn he could find. He left the little thumbnails of the pictures in his cache, etc. He did the same with his phone. Knowing she would not be able to resist her temptation to spy on him, he left his laptop and phone unlocked and where she would find them. Needless to say, the relationship did not last. There was no trust on either side.

I have no idea what your situation is, but if you have a history of spying on your boyfriend, maybe this is all fake. It could be his passive-aggresive way of trying to deal with a situation.
 
Last edited:
smiles1983 said:
I recently found shemale, tranny gay etc porn and escort websites on husband's phone. He is either cheating or wants to with a shemale, tranny etc. Said he's not but, i see the websites on his phone. Can I satisfy those needs for him
Is there anything I can try to save this marriage. I will TRY anything n if I can't do it at least I'll know I tried
Click to expand...

my advice,divorce.... run while you can still find another husband
 
Thats a hard one have you herd of bromiye dont no if spelt right tell him to ask dr if he has anything that can shhhh said to much allready have a fantastic day the only way i can see saveing ur marrige and i am no councillor i speek from a long experience of being in the same relashionship for 32 years sadly not now bang his brains out becom a dom tell him ur the misstris and ur name tell him he is to be submisive and play on from there i bet that gets his atention and ur boss to
 
If its just good old porn try watch it with him u might be surprised i used watch it with my mrs sadly not now
 
best advice in this here thread: buy a strap-on and fuck the holy shit our of his quivering, wanting, puckering, lil B hole ;)
 
I jerk off to Tranny porn sometimes...so what, Most...as in just about all guys are pigs. It doesnt mean a thing probably. I have been with my wife for 26 years we are nasty as hell with each other and thats sorta that. Other thing most women don;t get is guys need alone time to beat off. Yes thats what we do, we dont read a magazine or do pilates or buzz around the neighbourhood...nope, we jerk off,
Oh and if you confront him about it expect a perfect story because when he's not jerkin the gherkin he is probably trying to think shit up as to why in case he gets caught,
Have fun
 
The only part of this I find disturbing is the escort services. The rest of it could just be his having an active fantasy life. No different than my late husband liking to look at the sort of thing I couldn't participate in with him (BSDM)
 
Hope you guys are still together, but Yes you can...

At first one can't assume he wants to be fucked in the ass. Maybe he wants to fuck the ass. She-males have one love hole less and tend to do anal sex. The breasts still give it the 'woman's touch'. Only you can tell if you can accept to do anal penetration by your husband or maybe are doing already.

Secondly only by clear and open conversation you can find out what the sexual needs/fantasies of your husband are. Make him comfortable in telling his fantasies and don't be shocked what comes out of his mouth. Write down your own (sky is the limit) and lay them during the conversation next to his. The shock effect will hit him too as he now discovers your fantasies. (let me give an example: If you fantasise about being fucked by several men, want to be jizzed on your face by them and becoming their cum slut - while he is watching - you write that down is those words. (My husband always says anything that makes you very wet and touch yourself just thinking about it). Discuss the things you can and can't accept for the both of you. A new list for the both of you will emerge and then you can work towards these fantasies becoming reality.

Also you need to be open for this and maybe let go of certain standards. As long as you are honest to him and yourself. The rules MUST be clear and accepted by both. (E.G I can't see my man fuck another woman, because makes me jealous but do get turned on when he is sucked by another woman and me together - this was the fantasy I added to the list and you should have seen the face of my hubby when I proposed this). Coincidentally I wrote a post earlier today about sexual fantasies. Maybe have a read of our adventures to get in the mood for your own to write down.

Any more advise PM me - good luck!

xxx
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top