Mr. Mayor
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2014
- Messages
- 128
10,000ug nbome. A 17 Year Old's Tale of Insanity, Perma Tripping, & Hospitalization.
Hello, I am S
Let me begin to start you off with a little backstory, I was 17 at the time and in my first year of college, Over the course of the night I ingested 10-hits of 2-ci-nbome and had 100 hits in my coat pocket near my chest. I didn't have them in aluminum but they were in a thin plastic baggy. I don't know if that is what gives me breathing walls and perma tracers to this day but it may have been that some of the substance seeped threw and my skin absorbed some of it. I never wish what has happened to me on anyone else as it has been a struggle to keep my sanity and try to blend in with all the others. This is a bit of a read but I hope that you get something out of what happened and if this prevents one kid from going threw what I had to then it is worth it for me, after all this is the only experience we know.
It began on an autumn day, me and 3 others
I had gotten a message saying that one of my good friends had some "LSD" and that it was as he put it "out of this world" and I had to try it. So I drove about an hour away and he came up looking very defensive and paranoid. Purchased 10 hits and was on my way
Then we went to my friends house and i sold them some herb, then we all recouped at my friend K's house.
I dosed myself 10hits and gave everyone else 5.
Im in the den chilling with price when I start to feel the air is replaced with helium and a very light atmosphere I go into the room where the couch was and start watching the end of a will ferrel movie.
Then we went into my jeep and pounded the bass. Looking out my front windows as it was night time my entire landscape was replaced by unimaginable patterns and freely flowing objects, almost like patterns of faces but not quite these were very galactic in nature and very alien seeming, they daunted me to stare at them and the more I stared the more out there I got and away from the conversation. Although I was there physically my mind was being propelled threw an infinity of kaleidoscopes and tracers.
My friend T shows up, i dont really speak to most anyone as im tripping hard, keep losing the idea of whats in my pockets and grabbing my phone just to look at it. kept feeling like everything everyone was saying was about me and they were all plotting to kill me or something. At one point my friend Z starts talking to me and the way he was asking if I had any money sounded like he would do anything to have some of it and thats all he wanted from me, Sirens went off in my head, the universe collapsed itself and it was like my thought process reset everything got very "real" at that moment. Like they were all actors and the whole plot was to kill me and do horrible things at any moment. It was like yeah, yeah I've seen this all before and I think the next part is where I get killed.
We hopped in friends car to go get a movie, in the back seat as we started riding it was like i was in hyperspeed, Time was slowed and going so fast at the same time, no other feeling like it. My body felt exhillerating and adreniline was going strong, my conciousness went up into a needle tip like a huge funnel of swirling covers and like a circle where everything is compressed at the nose. I saw thousands of wires and numbers coming out of the top of the vehicle and from my body, like I was connected to the Massive Database or computer that everyone else was on. It was integrating me and putting me into its database, re-analyzing all I had gone threw and updating my system.
The town i had grew up in was very much alive and felt straight out of an HD movie bright orange looked everywhere, Z started to get road rage with someone and i felt every little action everyone did on a huge scale, like i had seen it all before and that every action is just an act and all my friends were "actors"
We arrive at walmart and start to walk in, there are 2 people on break sitting outside smoking and the whole time I'm laughing and feeling like "they know" and that we are doing something "very wrong" like people arent ever supposed to experience this, the kind of thing that if they knew what we were doing would be the end of our lives as we know it.When we walked in walmart I looked at the lights and cameras and ducked out to go to the parking lot by myself... I sat down like I was cool next to a random car cause I had forgot where the car was and tried to call my gf.
It rang and everything on my phone was melting but very hd like a window into the future. my mind was flowing with ideas and making very happy connection's i was finally turning it into a good trip… then on the last rang a computer came on and said "sorry but the number you are attempting call cannot pick up right now" my positivity literally shattered in front of my eyes, it was if a bright light started to emit from my being and open up in many ways then crumbled down...
My friends came out of walmart looking for me and I just stood up smiled and waved quite non suspiciously like I had planned it and I was still in much control of myself.
We went to mcdonalds where I worked and I would not get out of the car, they all got out and I sat in the back seat, when that happened it was like I was in a huge jeweled prison of faces that were patterned all over the car. These faces looked like madness and the tracers where everywhere.
Then we left and went to a spot where joggers normally go we stared at this brick wall as it morphed and glided as we moved our arms, I kept feeling like I needed "something" like I wasn't whole and nothing I said had confidence or anything like I didn't want to put on an act like everyone else was I just wanted to be real.
We got back and i was frying hard, we smoked some tree which sent the tracers mad. then i bid my fair-wells and went home. now the whole night i had slowly been isolating myself from everyone and found myself unsure of what to say or think at that point and on the brink on insanity, it was NOT a good idea that i drive home at this point but i had to in my own eyes. i had to get away from those "killers" and "liars" at that point, get away from the danger and see my gf and be safe and sound.
Driving was exhilarating, I had two 15's and cranked the music, Was like everything had intense patterns and tracers that moved and I was in an HD world, Like I had never before seen this world before, I had been blind my entire life and this is what everyone was talking about. Everything made sense all I had to do was ask myself. I was very much paying attention to how I was driving but in my head the whole time it was like a huge universe and the rest of the world going on up there and I was keeping track of all of it making my little suggestions and thought processes and visions of things going on, endless ropes, I was thinking about things on a universal scale and my ego was gone.
I arrived home with my gf and it was a blur, I woke her up, and told her that I had taking some 2-ci -nbome and at that time it was like the way my head registered it was being extremely synthetic, dangerous, and unheard of like no one fucked with this stuff around my area at that time and I felt like I had stumbled on to something that could change the universe.
Now I had put all my hits 100+ hits in a PLASTIC BAG, in my jacket that was 100percent cotton. Now this jacket had a pocket that was right next to my heart, that night it rained and i sweat profusely from the amount of feelings I was experiencing. The whole night I had this sharp pain that would come in go in my heart and also in my liver (left side of stomach) Now I don't know if this is what changed me forever or what but it could have very well leaked threw.
I woke her up and told her that I had this pain. Now this pain was a burning sensation in the side of my stomach like the left side of my abdominal and the pain was IMMENSE. Nothing I had ever experienced before and felt like a sheer burning sensation that I had never experienced. I ended up telling her I had cheated on her, and crying and I witnessed me tell her that, the way it made her face the emotion driven to her, her aura changed my aura changed and it STILL didn't make me feel better just worse, I regretted it and learned everyone really does need secrets.
I just kept telling her I loved her over and over and that I was sorry and I couldn't explain how I felt but I just felt "different" like I would look around and see the scattered pieces of ash from a bowl previously smoked and it was in SUCH DETAIL I felt connected with everything around me for this first time in my life and even the world.
This trip had opened me to a whole new range of emotions I hadnt experienced before and connectivity with EVERYTHING around me, like i had been unplugged my whole life just sorta getting happiness every now and then but then i took that and my brain was uploaded to the new system and all my thoughts were stored in the universal conciousness and it showed me everything i hadnt known before and ripped my ego away.
I could spot a liar dead on and got really into body language, colors stayed bright for months and months after that, when people would lie or when there was a "block in communication" I see an orb shoot across my field of vision. Some people call them "eye floaters" but it became very aware to me that they only happened when certain things happened.
This is what i would call a spiritual awakening, I would feel a burning sensation starting deep down under my stomach. I later understood that this was my first chakra opening up. After this happening I would eat all the time large amounts and was actually gaining a little wait. I'm 6'1 150lb athletic build. But it was strange for me eating that amount of anything. I later attribute this to what is called Adrenal Fatigue and that I had basically gotten so terrified whilst tripping that my body used all its adrenaline for long periods of time… which is not good at all. I tried to attribute the pain I was experiencing to my Kundalni rising but I still don't know to be honest, and who does?
So after spilling my guts to my gf and having a very emotional heart felt time I was still tripping. I said I cannot go to school I just cant do it people will know I cant focus on what other people say its like I was in a state of daydreaming about what had happened to me. My teacher calls me and I tell her that I cannot come to school im sick "cough coughfloater floater he-he… and so i stay home. Now this trip was very graphical like very pixelated or like my whole world was this synthetic illusion, later when I would try to do homework "it felt like the words were appearing there by my thoughts and i was influencing the book by reading it and that it all had my life story in one way or another" she told us she has a computer virus, I had lied to her so this paranoia made it feel like I had broken a code while under the influence of a boundary breaking substance that had someone affected the others around me.
I felt I HAD to go to sleep now, so I smoked a bunch of weed. Now a little backstory, this was my first year in college, I was 17 at the time and was going on a medical path and going to transfer to a bigger college. I supplied my friends with all the tree they needed at low prices, as i was getting it in bulk and very exotic stuff. i would sometimes get ounces 3-4 times a week and break it down to sell as 20 a g. yeah thats marketing for ya.
This turned out to be a HORRIBLE idea, i hit the tree and man was i thought i was tripping then, no shit got REAL like i looked around and it was like i was seeing everything from a fresh new perspective my mind felt like it was frying and as soon as that happened i could hear everything extremely well. my senses sharpened to that of what i could only describe as psychic. i was hearing the thoughts of "neighbors" outside of people around me. THis has happened other times like when I did shrooms one time and 25i at a festival... more on those experiences some other time, but this was extreme paranoia and a sense of impending doom, the spots on everything Super saturated and stuck out in my vision.
My memory at that time in my life was very hazy as I was perma tripping and still having tracers and organic patterns coming off of everything. I remember vividly though when my gf came over one day. She had some black play-do and we went outside to the trampoline, I kept talking about random stuff trying for anything to hold a good conversation, then i noticed a bunch of black crows outside the near by field.
I live in the middle of nowhere, 20min drives to the two closest towns and was already MAD paranoid. These crows seemed like they were beckoning me and I had read something online that day that the greeks used crows as communicators from the land of the living to the land of the dead."freaky" THEN THE WEIRDEST SHIT HAPPENED. My road has very little traffic on a day to day and out of nowhere as im wondering why there is this huge amount of crows in this field across from my house a Man with a long white beard, glasses, an old timmey bike and old clothes rides his bike by and waves at me.
My brain thought that was fucking Hoffman riding his bike from the afterlife and saying hey, then I thought it was god for a moment. That image haunted me all that day.
The next day I got into my moms minivan and drove to my gf's, when I got in the radio was playing and it was as if everything I was hearing from the radio was a projection of what was in my head at that time.
This also happened at my cousins house for halloween like the radio was pouring out my emotions or I was unconsciously matching what was going on in the radio.
On the way over to my gf's the radio was guilt tripping me hard and I had felt that I had separated this huge bond between me and my gf and that staying with her just made things worse. So I arrived at her house and she came outside. The aura around her was glowing and very golden, she was beautiful. I politely told her we couldn't be together anymore and it was like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs. The golden went away it was as if we were just two separate people, very hard to say but at that moment I felt like I had just done something that wasn't on "the plan" and by that I mean for my life and my fate.
Leaving her house I felt like I was dying and kids where getting dropped off from the bus. Like this wasn't really happening there were no kids it was just me and everything was a dream or a figment of my imagination. Grief filled every part of me and then fear. Like I had my fate wasn't going to allow this. There were fire fighters and cops near the road I turned down, seemed like they were planning to catch me and I sped up, When that happened I felt like my soul was about to leave my body. I looked down at the speedometer and it read 777. Mere coincidence? I think not. I immediately pressed the button to reset the numbers and as I felt "cheated death" once again.
When I arrived home after that I went into my stepdads room and received a phone call. My paranoia instantly said in my head thats for me thats about me, his tone changed and he walked out of the house. I was like, he knows he knows my whole life is over. I hid my weapons, got rid of my drugs and tried to act normal, later when my mom came home we were watching TV and this show called the X factor or something where they got rid of the X I felt like in my house I was the X and they were going to get rid of me. Like it all made sense that I was the unknown, the wild-card, and then another strange thing happened near my house way out in the middle of nowhere. A siren flashed, a cop siren to be precise. That was it, I heard the swat team outside, I saw sirens coming threw the blinds, My life was over, It was a set-up. My parents had set me up and this was it. I had to tell them at that point, I spilled over that I had taken something and not felt right and they were extremely cool about it.
In one instance I was in a writing class at college and felt like everyone was talking about me to the point of acting like I was going to the restroom but just went to my car. I had a book with me and all these black spirits surrounded my car like they wanted something with me. I did some deep meditation and they went away.
During those times my friends would be talking to me and I would already know exactly what they were about to say, what they meant, what happened but not exactly. Its like all I had to do was say, let me guess this happened and there jaws would drop like how did you know that that's exactly what happened. They would all notice my dilated pupils that refused to go away.
One day while I was in my medical class we were doing a sort of experiment involving blood testing. The way the teacher would make eye contact with me was freaking me out, then when we did the experiment it was like I had forgotten everything she had said. The colors of the blood and looking threw the microscope started making faces and morphing into other things. I lost it. I just left my shit in class all my binders. I was just like I have to get away. I pulled out and headed towards a pharmacy to pickup cigarettes, on the way I passed a few cops and a fire-truck they all had there sirens on which also sketched me out. I walked into purchase a pack of marblo blacks and when the chick asked me what kind of cigarettes I wanted I looked at the options. My jaw dropped, already colors were fucked my emotions were fucked and people faces were sliding and breathing. Now I look at the "must have be born in XXXX sign to purchase and I shit you not the things started moving and changing numbers!! Like my mind didn't want them and it was letting me know STRONGLY. I left there and there was a roadblock which sketched me out more "I always had herb on me" but maintained my cool, I felt at that time all someone had to do was make eye contact and they would know I was on "something else" they had to right? I mean come on… its great to be able to laugh at how skewed my thoughts were then.
So now I hated the computer, I hated TV, I didn't trust other people, my friends sketched me out, I was staying by myself and didn't know how to interact with other because it was like "hey there gonna know somethings off" So I finally admitted myself to the hospital. Everytime I watched TV it was impossible to find something I could immerse myself in without feeling some sort of paranoid vibe, they would say words in basic context that would pour what seemed to be years of forgotten memories, It made me uncomfortable and it was like the TV was telling me to go check myself in. Even commercials it was like they wanted my money and it was hard to resist them as they were so tempting, it was a weakened mind state I was in I didn't have the ego to just simply ignore them and they sucked me in a lot more in ways I didn't want to be.
When I arrived there I told the nurses what I had taken, what happened and what was going on. As soon as I got in there the paranoia increased 10-fold. I remember sitting in the room as there were other people in rooms around me and it felt like I was in purgatory like everyone was their at the hospital to die and these were the spiritual helpers.
I actually seen one of my old managers from a fast-food chain I worked at there with his wife he said she was getting a detox and they were really nice, it was like he had to be their at that moment? Like why was he there was it fate and was he in the same class of users as I am and this is the way the government gets them to admit themselves.
Now my time at the hospital I spent 1-week in there I don't like to think about it much so Imo going to briefly summarize it.
First night everything was fine I just didn't want to talk to anyone.
After that I'm convinced everyone is there is a fake and they are trying to figure out where I got this substance from and if I am crazy or not. Like they are all "Actors" and the hospital is one big show ran by the doctor who I never seen and if I did it was very very briefly.
Its like there is one of every "type" in here. The Grandma who is crazy, the aunt who never shuts up, the crazy world domination fat korean, the gangster black guy. The burnt out rocker who wears leather, the white teen meth head. And then one guy came in that kept yelling HOWS YOUR HAIR, it was hilarious, as though I thought they were interpretations of different people in my family and I had to learn how to communicate with all of them for me to get out. I made it my mission to be only positive and helpful and have good conversations. Man was I about raising some vibrations then!
They put me on meds and I left, I didn't like the way the meds made me feel and it was like when I would take them especially in the dark it was as if my aura would do a blurry "warp" like they were weakening it. I was on them a week and then came off of them when the paranoia went away. From what i can tell you are that hospital settings are NO place for people recovering from trips like this, maybe if the person would violent I could maybe see it but it my mind state I tried so hard not to hurt anyone and search for the exact words that weren't negative or could be interpreted as such. These places make people more paranoid and its like a jail environment basically, (ive been). From this experience Ill tell you to be careful with what you have taken into your body as once you drop something there is no turning back.
To this day I have severe tracers that I have grown to love, My world seems like Imo stoned all the time, colors are way brighter and things still breathe. I can see patterns and faces in woodgrain easily, the Fibonacci sequences in trees fascinate me, Im in love with nature and really connected to things around me on a new heightened level. It has turned me into a more sensitive person and has forced me to deal with things that were locked up inside me.
Hello, I am S
Let me begin to start you off with a little backstory, I was 17 at the time and in my first year of college, Over the course of the night I ingested 10-hits of 2-ci-nbome and had 100 hits in my coat pocket near my chest. I didn't have them in aluminum but they were in a thin plastic baggy. I don't know if that is what gives me breathing walls and perma tracers to this day but it may have been that some of the substance seeped threw and my skin absorbed some of it. I never wish what has happened to me on anyone else as it has been a struggle to keep my sanity and try to blend in with all the others. This is a bit of a read but I hope that you get something out of what happened and if this prevents one kid from going threw what I had to then it is worth it for me, after all this is the only experience we know.
It began on an autumn day, me and 3 others
I had gotten a message saying that one of my good friends had some "LSD" and that it was as he put it "out of this world" and I had to try it. So I drove about an hour away and he came up looking very defensive and paranoid. Purchased 10 hits and was on my way
Then we went to my friends house and i sold them some herb, then we all recouped at my friend K's house.
I dosed myself 10hits and gave everyone else 5.
Im in the den chilling with price when I start to feel the air is replaced with helium and a very light atmosphere I go into the room where the couch was and start watching the end of a will ferrel movie.
Then we went into my jeep and pounded the bass. Looking out my front windows as it was night time my entire landscape was replaced by unimaginable patterns and freely flowing objects, almost like patterns of faces but not quite these were very galactic in nature and very alien seeming, they daunted me to stare at them and the more I stared the more out there I got and away from the conversation. Although I was there physically my mind was being propelled threw an infinity of kaleidoscopes and tracers.
My friend T shows up, i dont really speak to most anyone as im tripping hard, keep losing the idea of whats in my pockets and grabbing my phone just to look at it. kept feeling like everything everyone was saying was about me and they were all plotting to kill me or something. At one point my friend Z starts talking to me and the way he was asking if I had any money sounded like he would do anything to have some of it and thats all he wanted from me, Sirens went off in my head, the universe collapsed itself and it was like my thought process reset everything got very "real" at that moment. Like they were all actors and the whole plot was to kill me and do horrible things at any moment. It was like yeah, yeah I've seen this all before and I think the next part is where I get killed.
We hopped in friends car to go get a movie, in the back seat as we started riding it was like i was in hyperspeed, Time was slowed and going so fast at the same time, no other feeling like it. My body felt exhillerating and adreniline was going strong, my conciousness went up into a needle tip like a huge funnel of swirling covers and like a circle where everything is compressed at the nose. I saw thousands of wires and numbers coming out of the top of the vehicle and from my body, like I was connected to the Massive Database or computer that everyone else was on. It was integrating me and putting me into its database, re-analyzing all I had gone threw and updating my system.
The town i had grew up in was very much alive and felt straight out of an HD movie bright orange looked everywhere, Z started to get road rage with someone and i felt every little action everyone did on a huge scale, like i had seen it all before and that every action is just an act and all my friends were "actors"
We arrive at walmart and start to walk in, there are 2 people on break sitting outside smoking and the whole time I'm laughing and feeling like "they know" and that we are doing something "very wrong" like people arent ever supposed to experience this, the kind of thing that if they knew what we were doing would be the end of our lives as we know it.When we walked in walmart I looked at the lights and cameras and ducked out to go to the parking lot by myself... I sat down like I was cool next to a random car cause I had forgot where the car was and tried to call my gf.
It rang and everything on my phone was melting but very hd like a window into the future. my mind was flowing with ideas and making very happy connection's i was finally turning it into a good trip… then on the last rang a computer came on and said "sorry but the number you are attempting call cannot pick up right now" my positivity literally shattered in front of my eyes, it was if a bright light started to emit from my being and open up in many ways then crumbled down...
My friends came out of walmart looking for me and I just stood up smiled and waved quite non suspiciously like I had planned it and I was still in much control of myself.
We went to mcdonalds where I worked and I would not get out of the car, they all got out and I sat in the back seat, when that happened it was like I was in a huge jeweled prison of faces that were patterned all over the car. These faces looked like madness and the tracers where everywhere.
Then we left and went to a spot where joggers normally go we stared at this brick wall as it morphed and glided as we moved our arms, I kept feeling like I needed "something" like I wasn't whole and nothing I said had confidence or anything like I didn't want to put on an act like everyone else was I just wanted to be real.
We got back and i was frying hard, we smoked some tree which sent the tracers mad. then i bid my fair-wells and went home. now the whole night i had slowly been isolating myself from everyone and found myself unsure of what to say or think at that point and on the brink on insanity, it was NOT a good idea that i drive home at this point but i had to in my own eyes. i had to get away from those "killers" and "liars" at that point, get away from the danger and see my gf and be safe and sound.
Driving was exhilarating, I had two 15's and cranked the music, Was like everything had intense patterns and tracers that moved and I was in an HD world, Like I had never before seen this world before, I had been blind my entire life and this is what everyone was talking about. Everything made sense all I had to do was ask myself. I was very much paying attention to how I was driving but in my head the whole time it was like a huge universe and the rest of the world going on up there and I was keeping track of all of it making my little suggestions and thought processes and visions of things going on, endless ropes, I was thinking about things on a universal scale and my ego was gone.
I arrived home with my gf and it was a blur, I woke her up, and told her that I had taking some 2-ci -nbome and at that time it was like the way my head registered it was being extremely synthetic, dangerous, and unheard of like no one fucked with this stuff around my area at that time and I felt like I had stumbled on to something that could change the universe.
Now I had put all my hits 100+ hits in a PLASTIC BAG, in my jacket that was 100percent cotton. Now this jacket had a pocket that was right next to my heart, that night it rained and i sweat profusely from the amount of feelings I was experiencing. The whole night I had this sharp pain that would come in go in my heart and also in my liver (left side of stomach) Now I don't know if this is what changed me forever or what but it could have very well leaked threw.
I woke her up and told her that I had this pain. Now this pain was a burning sensation in the side of my stomach like the left side of my abdominal and the pain was IMMENSE. Nothing I had ever experienced before and felt like a sheer burning sensation that I had never experienced. I ended up telling her I had cheated on her, and crying and I witnessed me tell her that, the way it made her face the emotion driven to her, her aura changed my aura changed and it STILL didn't make me feel better just worse, I regretted it and learned everyone really does need secrets.
I just kept telling her I loved her over and over and that I was sorry and I couldn't explain how I felt but I just felt "different" like I would look around and see the scattered pieces of ash from a bowl previously smoked and it was in SUCH DETAIL I felt connected with everything around me for this first time in my life and even the world.
This trip had opened me to a whole new range of emotions I hadnt experienced before and connectivity with EVERYTHING around me, like i had been unplugged my whole life just sorta getting happiness every now and then but then i took that and my brain was uploaded to the new system and all my thoughts were stored in the universal conciousness and it showed me everything i hadnt known before and ripped my ego away.
I could spot a liar dead on and got really into body language, colors stayed bright for months and months after that, when people would lie or when there was a "block in communication" I see an orb shoot across my field of vision. Some people call them "eye floaters" but it became very aware to me that they only happened when certain things happened.
This is what i would call a spiritual awakening, I would feel a burning sensation starting deep down under my stomach. I later understood that this was my first chakra opening up. After this happening I would eat all the time large amounts and was actually gaining a little wait. I'm 6'1 150lb athletic build. But it was strange for me eating that amount of anything. I later attribute this to what is called Adrenal Fatigue and that I had basically gotten so terrified whilst tripping that my body used all its adrenaline for long periods of time… which is not good at all. I tried to attribute the pain I was experiencing to my Kundalni rising but I still don't know to be honest, and who does?
So after spilling my guts to my gf and having a very emotional heart felt time I was still tripping. I said I cannot go to school I just cant do it people will know I cant focus on what other people say its like I was in a state of daydreaming about what had happened to me. My teacher calls me and I tell her that I cannot come to school im sick "cough coughfloater floater he-he… and so i stay home. Now this trip was very graphical like very pixelated or like my whole world was this synthetic illusion, later when I would try to do homework "it felt like the words were appearing there by my thoughts and i was influencing the book by reading it and that it all had my life story in one way or another" she told us she has a computer virus, I had lied to her so this paranoia made it feel like I had broken a code while under the influence of a boundary breaking substance that had someone affected the others around me.
I felt I HAD to go to sleep now, so I smoked a bunch of weed. Now a little backstory, this was my first year in college, I was 17 at the time and was going on a medical path and going to transfer to a bigger college. I supplied my friends with all the tree they needed at low prices, as i was getting it in bulk and very exotic stuff. i would sometimes get ounces 3-4 times a week and break it down to sell as 20 a g. yeah thats marketing for ya.
This turned out to be a HORRIBLE idea, i hit the tree and man was i thought i was tripping then, no shit got REAL like i looked around and it was like i was seeing everything from a fresh new perspective my mind felt like it was frying and as soon as that happened i could hear everything extremely well. my senses sharpened to that of what i could only describe as psychic. i was hearing the thoughts of "neighbors" outside of people around me. THis has happened other times like when I did shrooms one time and 25i at a festival... more on those experiences some other time, but this was extreme paranoia and a sense of impending doom, the spots on everything Super saturated and stuck out in my vision.
My memory at that time in my life was very hazy as I was perma tripping and still having tracers and organic patterns coming off of everything. I remember vividly though when my gf came over one day. She had some black play-do and we went outside to the trampoline, I kept talking about random stuff trying for anything to hold a good conversation, then i noticed a bunch of black crows outside the near by field.
I live in the middle of nowhere, 20min drives to the two closest towns and was already MAD paranoid. These crows seemed like they were beckoning me and I had read something online that day that the greeks used crows as communicators from the land of the living to the land of the dead."freaky" THEN THE WEIRDEST SHIT HAPPENED. My road has very little traffic on a day to day and out of nowhere as im wondering why there is this huge amount of crows in this field across from my house a Man with a long white beard, glasses, an old timmey bike and old clothes rides his bike by and waves at me.
My brain thought that was fucking Hoffman riding his bike from the afterlife and saying hey, then I thought it was god for a moment. That image haunted me all that day.
The next day I got into my moms minivan and drove to my gf's, when I got in the radio was playing and it was as if everything I was hearing from the radio was a projection of what was in my head at that time.
This also happened at my cousins house for halloween like the radio was pouring out my emotions or I was unconsciously matching what was going on in the radio.
On the way over to my gf's the radio was guilt tripping me hard and I had felt that I had separated this huge bond between me and my gf and that staying with her just made things worse. So I arrived at her house and she came outside. The aura around her was glowing and very golden, she was beautiful. I politely told her we couldn't be together anymore and it was like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs. The golden went away it was as if we were just two separate people, very hard to say but at that moment I felt like I had just done something that wasn't on "the plan" and by that I mean for my life and my fate.
Leaving her house I felt like I was dying and kids where getting dropped off from the bus. Like this wasn't really happening there were no kids it was just me and everything was a dream or a figment of my imagination. Grief filled every part of me and then fear. Like I had my fate wasn't going to allow this. There were fire fighters and cops near the road I turned down, seemed like they were planning to catch me and I sped up, When that happened I felt like my soul was about to leave my body. I looked down at the speedometer and it read 777. Mere coincidence? I think not. I immediately pressed the button to reset the numbers and as I felt "cheated death" once again.
When I arrived home after that I went into my stepdads room and received a phone call. My paranoia instantly said in my head thats for me thats about me, his tone changed and he walked out of the house. I was like, he knows he knows my whole life is over. I hid my weapons, got rid of my drugs and tried to act normal, later when my mom came home we were watching TV and this show called the X factor or something where they got rid of the X I felt like in my house I was the X and they were going to get rid of me. Like it all made sense that I was the unknown, the wild-card, and then another strange thing happened near my house way out in the middle of nowhere. A siren flashed, a cop siren to be precise. That was it, I heard the swat team outside, I saw sirens coming threw the blinds, My life was over, It was a set-up. My parents had set me up and this was it. I had to tell them at that point, I spilled over that I had taken something and not felt right and they were extremely cool about it.
In one instance I was in a writing class at college and felt like everyone was talking about me to the point of acting like I was going to the restroom but just went to my car. I had a book with me and all these black spirits surrounded my car like they wanted something with me. I did some deep meditation and they went away.
During those times my friends would be talking to me and I would already know exactly what they were about to say, what they meant, what happened but not exactly. Its like all I had to do was say, let me guess this happened and there jaws would drop like how did you know that that's exactly what happened. They would all notice my dilated pupils that refused to go away.
One day while I was in my medical class we were doing a sort of experiment involving blood testing. The way the teacher would make eye contact with me was freaking me out, then when we did the experiment it was like I had forgotten everything she had said. The colors of the blood and looking threw the microscope started making faces and morphing into other things. I lost it. I just left my shit in class all my binders. I was just like I have to get away. I pulled out and headed towards a pharmacy to pickup cigarettes, on the way I passed a few cops and a fire-truck they all had there sirens on which also sketched me out. I walked into purchase a pack of marblo blacks and when the chick asked me what kind of cigarettes I wanted I looked at the options. My jaw dropped, already colors were fucked my emotions were fucked and people faces were sliding and breathing. Now I look at the "must have be born in XXXX sign to purchase and I shit you not the things started moving and changing numbers!! Like my mind didn't want them and it was letting me know STRONGLY. I left there and there was a roadblock which sketched me out more "I always had herb on me" but maintained my cool, I felt at that time all someone had to do was make eye contact and they would know I was on "something else" they had to right? I mean come on… its great to be able to laugh at how skewed my thoughts were then.
So now I hated the computer, I hated TV, I didn't trust other people, my friends sketched me out, I was staying by myself and didn't know how to interact with other because it was like "hey there gonna know somethings off" So I finally admitted myself to the hospital. Everytime I watched TV it was impossible to find something I could immerse myself in without feeling some sort of paranoid vibe, they would say words in basic context that would pour what seemed to be years of forgotten memories, It made me uncomfortable and it was like the TV was telling me to go check myself in. Even commercials it was like they wanted my money and it was hard to resist them as they were so tempting, it was a weakened mind state I was in I didn't have the ego to just simply ignore them and they sucked me in a lot more in ways I didn't want to be.
When I arrived there I told the nurses what I had taken, what happened and what was going on. As soon as I got in there the paranoia increased 10-fold. I remember sitting in the room as there were other people in rooms around me and it felt like I was in purgatory like everyone was their at the hospital to die and these were the spiritual helpers.
I actually seen one of my old managers from a fast-food chain I worked at there with his wife he said she was getting a detox and they were really nice, it was like he had to be their at that moment? Like why was he there was it fate and was he in the same class of users as I am and this is the way the government gets them to admit themselves.
Now my time at the hospital I spent 1-week in there I don't like to think about it much so Imo going to briefly summarize it.
First night everything was fine I just didn't want to talk to anyone.
After that I'm convinced everyone is there is a fake and they are trying to figure out where I got this substance from and if I am crazy or not. Like they are all "Actors" and the hospital is one big show ran by the doctor who I never seen and if I did it was very very briefly.
Its like there is one of every "type" in here. The Grandma who is crazy, the aunt who never shuts up, the crazy world domination fat korean, the gangster black guy. The burnt out rocker who wears leather, the white teen meth head. And then one guy came in that kept yelling HOWS YOUR HAIR, it was hilarious, as though I thought they were interpretations of different people in my family and I had to learn how to communicate with all of them for me to get out. I made it my mission to be only positive and helpful and have good conversations. Man was I about raising some vibrations then!
They put me on meds and I left, I didn't like the way the meds made me feel and it was like when I would take them especially in the dark it was as if my aura would do a blurry "warp" like they were weakening it. I was on them a week and then came off of them when the paranoia went away. From what i can tell you are that hospital settings are NO place for people recovering from trips like this, maybe if the person would violent I could maybe see it but it my mind state I tried so hard not to hurt anyone and search for the exact words that weren't negative or could be interpreted as such. These places make people more paranoid and its like a jail environment basically, (ive been). From this experience Ill tell you to be careful with what you have taken into your body as once you drop something there is no turning back.
To this day I have severe tracers that I have grown to love, My world seems like Imo stoned all the time, colors are way brighter and things still breathe. I can see patterns and faces in woodgrain easily, the Fibonacci sequences in trees fascinate me, Im in love with nature and really connected to things around me on a new heightened level. It has turned me into a more sensitive person and has forced me to deal with things that were locked up inside me.
Last edited:
