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Tripping on a fever as a kid

Ganj

Ganj

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Joined
Dec 2, 2013
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226
Wasnt really sure where to put this but I thought It may interest someone. Twice in my childhood did I 'hallucinate' on a high temperature or what ever it was, the later being the more mild one so ill go into that first. Note I was probably around 6-8 on both occasions.

I was at a cottage on a small family holiday, all I remember is having the sensation of falling in the middle of the night. By the end of It I was sitting horribly ill on a stone cold floor clawing at the air shouting 'Im falling Im falling!'

The second one I remember a lot more vividly and was a lot more odd. Id been feeling ill for days and I was watching a movie with my family but was too ill to finish it so I went to bed in my parents room. Over the course of an hour I completely unaware I even had a fever entered a very odd head space. Essentially me, and my body failed to exist. The only thing that ever existed was these white lines. For the duration of the experience the only things that existed where these white lines on pitch black. There were 3 stages to the experience.

Firstly there were lots of lines, say 300-400 which was something I could easily deal with. I had a task to do something with these lines. I think by simply acknowledging a lines existence, and only that line would make it disappear. And my job was to make all the lines go away as they came. So with moderate ease I got rid of the lines as they came, keeping the number of lines low, below a comprehend-able number of say 500. But as time moved on, my ability to get rid of the lines started to increase, but so did how quickly they came. As this progressed, my ability to get rid of the lines was falling behind the amount of lines created which was really discomforting and a little scary. This snowballed into the 2nd stage...

The number of lines started to increase and increase into the thousands which started to make me panicky, the amount of lines just kept on increasing and increasing and increasing until I couldn't even comprehend how many lines were there, and even after they they just kept multiplying. Note that I didnt really question what was happening. Oddly I accepted with a lot of ease that the only thing that exists is these lines.

This came to the 'peak' of the experience where there was this infinitely large number, bigger than anyone could possibly imagine and it just kept doubling and doubling. It would take me an eternity to get rid of all these lines and it was the most discomforting and confusing head space I have ever been in.

Then, it started to slowly, very slowly come down. My best memory of the experience was when I realised that I was starting to work through these lines at a remarkable pace. The CEV's had turned from pure chaos to what ever 'I' was, moving on a linear, 2D road at a relatively fast speed, going somewhere which would feel like the end of this. Eventually I came back to sanity.

I have memories of brief contact with reality throughout the experience, mainly bed sheets and my Mother who was present through the ordeal, but these points of contact felt isolated and alien and in fact the infinite amount of lines seemed to be reality. A total of 3 things existed. Pure blackness as a background, these white lines and me. I wasn't an actual physical object during this, but simply a camera view observing.

Very odd. Anyone ever experienced anything like this?
 
When I was around 5-7 or so I had a high fever and remember having very odd bodily sensations and hallucinations. It was in a sense similar to your experience: I was aware of bubble-like entities that sort of grew within me and to prevent them from harming me I had to keep them in check. But they kept expanding too fast which felt very unpleasant and I had the feeling of losing control over my consciousness. Very hard to describe, but your description reminded me very much of the sensation.
 
Tripping during fever is technically a delirium I think. And persecution delusions are quite common in the type of state.

What you seem to describe however may have been a night terror. There are also other sorts of nightly / near-sleep trippy states, hypnogogic hallucinations, night hags

I have experienced something of the sort, it repeated a number of times and was always pretty much the same concept: I envisioned a clean white wheel or rather a spiral that could turn unimpeded and it felt vital that it was allowed to rotate. Then black dots and other black geometry contaminated the white spiral pinwheel, and this caused friction since the blackness was dead and motionless. The spiral wanted to keep turning and blackness continued to attack it, the pressure pent up from the fact that it 'tried to but could not' was terrifying to me.

It wasn't really a nightmare, when I completely freaked out and was roused by my parents I was still in that state or other world and it took me a while to get out of it.

There a very interesting states of minds described in the book "Hallucinations by Sacks.
 
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I remember having a terrible fever dream once when I was younger. I was sleeping in my older brother's room on the spare bed, with him in his bed just beside me. The dream itself was like a game of tetris in three dimensions with very abstract shapes. I had no bodily form and the only thing that existed was a darkness that seemed to continue on forever and the knowledge in my mind of what pieces were to come and what the conditions of the game were: play to save the life of your older brother. Since the pieces had such unfamiliar shapes and subtleties I could not keep up, and they kept flinging together into the center of the infinite darkness of my mind's eye. Panic grew as I realized I was about to lose the game and my brother, and I woke up in a horrible sweat screaming that I had killed my brother. My mom came in to comfort me, assured me he was still alive, and tended to my fever by putting damp cold clothes on my forehead and putting me to bed.
I still have never had a dream like that. Typically in my dreams I have a body and I exist in an environment that is familiar to what I experience during conscious life. But the complete lack of essentially anything I had assumed to know left me not quite rattled, but inquisitive of consciousness, perhaps laying the ground that I now stand on.
 
I used to rarely experience hallucinations during a fever as a child. I remember one experience clearly. I was laying in bed and it felt like various parts of my body were not their right size, like my arms felt large and my torso felt as thin as a pencil if that makes sense. Everything also seemed to be moving 'faster'. During this same occasion I remember seeing shadow people, I'm not sure if these shadow people are the same as those that people see on amphetamines, and they were marching into my room holding large boulders above their head. I wasn't at all distressed about the shadow people, but the fluctuations in size of my body and the 'speeding up' of things was uncomfortable.
 
Zalo said:
I remember one experience clearly. I was laying in bed and it felt like various parts of my body were not their right size, like my arms felt large and my torso felt as thin as a pencil if that makes sense.
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yeah I remember when I had a fever many years ago (it's hard to recall the details) i felt as though the pillow i was embracing was much smaller than its real size, really really hard to describe. and I was also having visuals like squares moving in circles and stretching lol it was kinda cool.
 
I'm shocked to find someone else with similar experiences to ones I used to have during fevers as a child. I had this sensation that there was some kind of constantly increasing value that was just getting absolutely massive and if it were to reach a certain mass, something devastating would happen, like everyone I loved would die. Somehow, I was able to shrink the mass down every once in a while to keep it at a manageable value. I always called this mass 'the boulder'. I remember having a vivid hallucination where I was laying on a bench in my kitchen and nobody was around. I felt the mass increasing and my anxiety was rising, until suddenly, the boulder crashed through the ceiling and landed on the table right in front of me. I was paralyzed with fear and before I could even come to my senses, the boulder just vanished. These sensations happened mildly without being on medication, but when my parents gave me whatever it was for my fever, the sensations picked up intensely and led to hallucinations like this one. I'm really glad to have found this thread.
 
I remember bits and pieces of the worst fever I had, which was when I was a kid, was like 40.5*C or something at the peak and throwing up and feeling crap for 2 weeks, I do remember everything seemed weirdly distant and dissociated most of the time and I had some crazy dreams/hallucinations but at the time I didn't think of them as too out of the ordinary because as a kid I had night terrors where you wake up in the night still hallucinating as if you were mid dream and seeing scary ass shit irl.
 
You two with the body dysmorphic dreams should look into Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (real thing). I had dreams like that about once a year until I was fourteen, they were absolutely awful and, to answer the OP's question, kind of like a bad DXM trip.

That tetris dream sounded horrendous, by the way.
 
ComfortablyNumb95 said:
yeah I remember when I had a fever many years ago (it's hard to recall the details) i felt as though the pillow i was embracing was much smaller than its real size, really really hard to describe. and I was also having visuals like squares moving in circles and stretching lol it was kinda cool.
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yeah, when i was a child i had a fever. my hands felt just like two baloons...
 
ComfortablyNumb95 said:
I bet now you have that feeling once again and you cannot explain, I wouldn't understand, this ain't how you are :D
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you've had this experience...damn.
i haven't had the expeience in years though because the child is grown and the dream is gone and i have become comfortably numb...
 
The sensation of your body parts being completely disproportionate seems to be very common. I have experienced this and after making this post I found a similar zoklet post which contained some very interesting delirious states as well as lots of people feeling their body in disproportion. I'm not sure If I can link it or perhaps quote it as I think you would all find it very interesting.(Solipsis?)

Its been pretty re-affirming to hear others have experienced this. These seem to be categorised into 2 different groups. Straight out hallucinations, played in our actual world which I have never experienced and these slightly more psychedelic (I think its similair to high, level 5 doses.) experiences where ones body does not exist and a very abstract situation that doesn't make any sense occurs.
 
Micropsia and macropsia type stuff? Sure :)

For me tryptamines and mainly mushrooms are the ideal substances to make me feel (even if I am not seeing it) that my own other someone else's body parts have disproportionate sizes.

Alice and Wonderland syndrome or Gulliver's type shit (Lilliputian hallucinations) are slightly different in that they are not focused on separately measured body parts but the principle is the same which is that there is a loss of successful referencing.

Amanita's may also be effective I think?
 
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I got weird feelings while having a bad fever as a kid, a few times. Pretty hard to describe but everytime I would feel something like growing spheres.
 
I also had fever dreams of a terrifyingly large and exponentially growing number.

It was very troubling to me. As a child I couldn't comprehend such a 'bad trip' or integrate it and then I would be scared to fall back into the delirium b/c even if the dreams were not exactly the same, the fever visions had a distinct feel and a sense of foreboding and disquiet with a very ominous presence.

Very dissociative like with all the Lilliputian hallucinations and such...quite similar to high dose DXM. I was probably given cold medicine containing DXM at the time.

Is it possible that the DXM I was given to quell the fever influenced these experiences?
 
It's really crazy to see the common theme of the body-less consciousness being subject to some exponentially expanding abstract form whose expansion causes panic or discomfort. It's actually kind of eery reading some of the descriptions as they relate so much to mine. The Tetris analogy may have been a poor one, however it seemed to be the best way to put the experience into context. Everyone knows that feeling in Tetris when you know you're done for and you scramble but that only makes matters worse. Or maybe I just take Tetris too seriously haha.
 
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