• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

The JULY sobriety thread

Status
Not open for further replies.
I am bored as fuck right now. Nothing will keep my attention for very long and nothing sounds particularly appealing either. Then again, neither does using... not really, other than knowing it will cure the boredom... but knowing that the boredom probably won't last more than a few hours anyway is stopping me from that particular dangerous line of thinking... so at least there's that.

But seriously. Fucking :|8:)|:p
 
I just read a news article about Cory Monteith's death, and the autopsy showed it as a mix of heroin and alcohol. It pissed me off because it showed me, again, how heroin addiction favors literally NO ONE. If it doesn't kill you, it destroys your life anyway.

It's really depressing news (I really liked him as an actor), but it made me hate heroin a little bit more too, and I probably needed that...

Except now I'm just angry for no real, specific reason. Fuck. My emotions are so all over the place this afternoon and I hate it :(
 
I'd like to think I'm doing good and staying sober these days, but in reality I'm just keeping it legal I guess. I still have a night of drinking that almost goes too far every so often, and I can't function without nicotine and caffeine, but at least people don't worry about me anymore and I can take care of myself, right?
 
neversickanymore said:
:?:(8o8:)(!:|:|:\:\:(:):!:):\:):!:D:(:):):):D:D=D.. goodspeed star..


I am doing well today.. 2 outa six days done in this fukd work week and I keep my eye on a great rest of summer.
Click to expand...

Ah yes.... the timeline. Fuck I'm only somewhere between swirly eye man and sad face man (I had to use words instead of the smilies because Bluelight only allows 28 smilies to be used in a single post and you used them all up in your timeline) :cross eyes yelling red face man:.

Where are you at? I'm in god forsaken Florida where there's no season to look forward to. One would imagine 55-65F degree temperatures in the winter would be lovely...But as a resident of 2 years now you become some kind of sandlizzard where you body is only able to comprehend 90degrees with 30% humidity optimal temperature. So scratch winter off the fun list. It's not even like you can wear cool winter attire like hats with oversized balls on top...or gloves. Just a hoodie that doesn't do the coldness in your bones justice. And then Summer is comprised of rain. Hurricane rain to be exact where it will be silent and still one moment and hailing and trees bending halfway to the ground the next as you seek shelter in your closet with the sound of your rafters struggling to hold the roof on your house. And nevermind the flooding... I won't get into that because the flooding portion of it deserves a book dedcated in it's name.

So yeah... I really hope you enjoy your summer. I'm going to be hiding in my closet waiting for hurricane season aka summer to pass so that I can jump on into winter.

/weather rant.

I love you all btw. Lez keep this going :sus:
 
Haven't used all summer. And I started my 4th step today. I'll try not to leave anything out of it this time lol. That's only funny cause everyone says I must have left something out who relapse. I'm trying to be thorough but I don't have as much hate in my heart as the first 4th step so some shit I'm writing it than crossing it out. Those are the old ones there's a few new ones surely.
 
Hey sober folks. Year and some change here...change literally. I never thought it could feel this good.
 
I used to be pretty active idk if anyone remembers me. But I'm 19 just got out of detoz and inpatient for heroin n molly. I'm living in Arizona away from my home in Wisconsin in a halfway house idk im a couple months clean now idk how I've done it but here I am figured I'd check back in hope all is well with everyone.
 
^Congrats dude. Lots of people here from Wisconsin now...I remember how I always wished there were more Wisconsinites on Bluelight a while ago hehe. :)

I've been off *everything* now for a couple weeks. I'm no longer letting benzos be an option for me to deal with my anxiety and am really forcing myself to use my breathing to cope. I didn't know I had it in me to do this after taking benzos nearly every day for the past 7 years now. I've been a wreck in some ways, but I feel pretty good overall and am proud of myself. Going to keep this going.
 
I personally dont trust those sconny people.. to damn nice and honest... <3;)

i'm doing well today.. really really wanted some beer after the long work week.. but then i thought I hate beer anyway and booze and me dont get along as the more i drink the poorer decisions i make and the more i want to drink.. I really have the hardest time with coming up with reasons not to drink wine though... but midway through summer in my book and its time for me to make a grand push and get some really cool shit done this summer.. Hey MAB its time to charge..

hope everyone is doing great in their lives and their life plans..
 
I'm 10 days off of heroin, although I had a small lapse yesterday where I took a sip of methadone to fight the Suboxone withdrawals (why I'm even kicking this hard from FIVE DAYS of low dose Sub is beyond me). Physically I still feel pretty horrible, but mentally things are starting to get way better. I have a good support system, and I've already started to rediscover the two things I'm most passionate about in life, things I lost when my Norco addiction first kicked into beast mode. It helps a lot to have long term goals that I'm excited about working toward. I feel very blessed to have two amazing reasons to stay sober again... I will never, EVER, ever again give up my love for snowboarding and producing music, not for anything... definitely not for opiates or any other substance!! <3
 
I volunteer at my local animal shelter to keep busy. I love animals an its rewarding for me to share some love with them while they wait patiently in a cage for someone like YOU to come along and adopt them.

If animals isn't your things call your fav organization and ask about volunteering :)
 
I have a question for anyone that might know the answer. Is it characteristic of PAWS to cycle rapidly through bouts of mania and depression? Cuz right now I feel like I'm all over the place. I start my day happy almost to the point of euphoria, energetic, etc. Then around mid afternoon I begin to crash, all my energy goes away, and I just feel anxious and depressed. I then try to talk myself out of it for the next few hours until it somewhat levels out, and it pretty much stays level until I fall asleep, with only small spikes of happiness/depression/anxiety... nothing too extreme. And then I wake up and it starts all over again.

Is this normal? I've been taking 5-HTP, Piracetam, Iron, Magnesium, Potassium, and B6 to try and offset it. I took a Trazodone earlier too. It helped a little bit but it's still annoying. Any suggestions on how to better deal with this?
 
I have no idea. My paws is one endless despair that slowly fades. Have you tried exercise, or limiting your caffeine?

Another day down, but I had a really strong craving to stop at the store and buy a forty. Fortunately just bought a blue icee instead. Its weird because malt liquor isn't even my drug of choice.

Anyone else able to quit hard drugs but unable to stop smoking ciggies?
 
I've been exercising when I can, but my energy levels are still really low so it's not always possible. I haven't been limiting my caffeine, I always start drinking more of it whenever I get clean as a way to compensate for the energy loss. I'll avoid it tomorrow and see if that makes a difference. Thanks.

To answer your question, yep... I want to quit smoking too but trying to quit that is even more of a mental hell than dealing with this PAWS shit is, at least imo.
 
IMO wait on the smoking and the funny thing about exercise is that it increases your energy.. especially fatigue associated with opiat withdrawal.. just make an easy thirty minute bike ride part of your life.. just make sure it is hard enough to make you breath and sweat.. you will know because your head and anxiety and depression will lift and your moods will level.. and your fatigue will get better and better.. but my fatigue got slowly better over the period of just under four months.. but when the opiate receptors finally shut down at that time it was really amazing:)
 
I only realised today that its been over a year since I took any benzos, they are a truly useless group of drugs for anything other than occasional use IMHO. I'm glad to be free of them
 
I wish I had a bike but mine is broken. I have an elliptical though... but idk about staying on it for a full half hour lol. I guess I can always get my skateboard out or go running instead.

... or not. My skateboard is mysteriously missing.
 
Last edited:
lol.. Just hit it till you feel good take it easy at first.. huhh thats a good idea.. im off

i'm doing great today.. i guess bike ride and then some fishing and then a great meal and then some meditation, slip in for a little BL.. and it will have been a damn good day. wishing a good day to us all<3
 
How did I not discover sooner that video games are a perfect distraction lol.

Hope everyone had an awesome day <3
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top