The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine Thread - Hit #12 - Oh look, it's MXE o'clock

[vortech]

To elaborate I will focus on the mechanisms of the experience rather than the linear details of my personal experience. Are you all familiar with Leary's theory of the 'Eight-circuit model of consciousness'?http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eight-circuit_model_of_consciousness
Now say what you want about Leary, a delusional quack or psychedelic visionary, but I am especially interested in how he describes the eighth circuit, and it reflects my own personal extrapolations from the psychedelic experience. He himself said that ketamine (as well as DMT and high dose LSD) was a key to unlocking this particular capacity. I really wish Leary was still around to try MXE because it seems to me like the most functional key for accessing this circuit.

 

[cosmic._.ape]

My MXE experiences unify me with the Cosmos. They show me that all living beings are infused with the soul of God, that the separateness between others and myself is an illusion. We are fingers of the same hand.

Or in other words, yes. I'm quite empathic as is but MXE helps me to get closer by dissolving barriers.

i apologise for repeating myself

https://www.facebook.com/notes/henry-chinaski/gnostic-light/316311165085712

"30 I and the Father are one.”

31 Again his Jewish opponents picked up stones to stone him, 32 but Jesus said to them, “I have shown you many good works from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?”

33 “We are not stoning you for any good work,” they replied, “but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God.”

34 Jesus answered them, “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I have said you are “gods”’[a]?" (John 10:30-34)

* * *

we -thus is, "god"- were a single solitary consciousness existing in The Void for all eternity. back then, before the original big-bang, we were the eternal energy of consciousnesses/time, or infinite potential, not yet manifested

...but it feels so lonely in eternity being just one

being one (or the One), the only way for us to enjoy company is by forgetting our true nature of eternal communion by dividing or bifurcating ourselves repeatedly until, in a huge cosmic explosion, we gave birth to what we know as existence: the mind/dream of the goddess/god, whose purpose for the process is one suffused with infinite empathy, aka divine love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE9dEAx5Sgw

as deeper as we divide ourselves, as more feeble the memory of being all One becomes; therefore making the illusion of being separated in a universe of separated objects or beings feel more and more real.

as real this illusion of separation feels, as further we get to know ourselves (or shall i say: "figments of ourselves"), by perceiving and experiencing our disparage behaviours, attitudes, perceptions, dreams, inventions etc -the acts we experience as *living*

the one and only thing that prevents us from directly experiencing ourselves as the Unitary Energy Being that we are is our ego and the beliefs, ideas, and illusions that our ego uses to artificially construct its/our sense of self

in the end, what i'm writing about is liberation from fear. liberation from fear of being oneself. liberation from the fear of reality. liberation from the fear of life and the fear of death. liberation from the fear of succeeding or failing. liberation from trying and relaxing into infinite nature of being, right here, right now

“‘Liberation,’ Dr. Robert began again, ‘the ending of sorrow, ceasing to be what you ignorantly think you are and becoming what you are in fact. For a little while, thanks to the moksha-medicine, you will know what it’s like to be what in fact you are, what in fact you always have been. What a timeless bliss! But, like everything else, this timelessness is transient. Like everything else, it will pass. And when it has passed, what will you do with this experience?’ […]

‘Will you merely enjoy them as you would enjoy an evening at the puppet show, and then go back to business as usual. Or, having glimpsed, will you devote your lives to the business, not at all as usual, of being what you are in fact?’ ("the Island", Aldous Huxley, Ch. 10, p. 208)

"Between sentient Awareness and insentient matter is an illusion formed in the mind. Moksha is seen as a final release from this illusion when one's worldly conception of self is erased and there takes place a loosening of the shackle of experiential duality, accompanied by the realization of one's own fundamental nature: sat (true being), cit (pure consciousness), and ananda, an experience which is ineffable and beyond sensation (see satcitananda).[9]

Advaita holds that Atman, Brahman, and Paramatman are all one and the same - the formless Nirguna Brahman which is beyond the being/non-being distinction, tangibility, and comprehension."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moksha

* * *

"29. For I am divided for love's sake, for the chance of union.

30. This is the creation of the world, that the pain of division is as nothing, and the joy of dissolution all."

(Liber AL vel Legis sub figura CCXX (The Book of the Law), Chapter 1)"

 

[FPU4eva]

i try to avoid MXE i burn through a gram in like 3 or 4 days stuffs too much fun

 

[e1evene1even]

Complete and total MADNESS!

Had probably the most intense experience of my life last night (aside from ayahuasca in Peru). Not entirely sure it was even MXE.

I'd consider myself very experienced with MXE (though not as much in higher doses). I received a new batch from a different vendor and the effects felt different to previous batches of MXE (I've noticed variation before but not to this extent).

I took about 30mg oral (regular dose, and I had some K tolerance which I normally don't), then approximately 100mg broken into 3 insufflated doses over a few hours since the effects seemed considerably weaker. I had taken a little MPA and EPH and a lot of ketamine (by my standards) the night before but nothing else.

Very little of what I enjoyed about MXE was present, just a bit of disorientation and general sketchy feeling (things felt "off", but not in the way like K or previous experiences with MXE). The after effects of the initial dose lasted longer and just felt sloppy/disconnecting compared to the general clear-headed, energetic stimulation I normally get. My physical coordinated was impaired in a way that was different as well. I also was experiencing many auditory hallucinations (not alterations) which I've never gotten from MXE or K.

Eventually, I just lost the plot completely and panicked thinking I was going to die (possible OD on something mislabelled). Manically pacing around, stripped naked, making a huge mess. My apartment was generally the same, but things looked, and functioned differently. Shortly though nothing was normal. Rather than visual perception being altered, I was hallucinating things that weren't actually there. I wanted to go to the hospital but couldn't find my phone to call 911. I yelled for help, but no one heard. I tried to leave to get help but couldn't (in retrospect, thank god I didn't leave to roam the streets naked in the middle off the night of a major city in this state!). 8(

Luckily I found my xanax. It is pure unweighed powder so almost impossible to dose sober with a milligram scale let alone in my current state. Not sure how much I took, but it was the right amount apparently (had risperidone in the freezer, but that could've been a bad choice).

Very soon after, I was mentally very calm, almost sober-headed and no longer felt in any physical danger (don't know if I ever was or if it was a panic reaction though I think my BP/pulse was elevated and think I had some vasoconstriction as well). Despite being mentally "sober", visually I was still in a complete other reality. Total immersion in another world. Constantly morphing, full or people and spirits though they didn't interact with me. They had a 3D photorealism and solidity while still being malleable (though I couldn't touch them). At this point I knew it wasn't "real" and had no fear, but was actually in awe of the experience amazed how I could manipulate the visions. I felt a bit how an experienced shaman may feel, powerful and comfortable with the "spirits'. The difference from something like ayahuasca or DMT is that rather than being immobilized I was way more physically active than normal. If I moved around I would bump into things in sober reality even though I couldn't see them at all. After randomly stumbling around, and bumping into things I was able to find what I assumed was my bed. After a while more I sobered up mostly and was able to "see" again.

I've never done PCP but I think I was in a similar state to reports I've read. I highly doubt what I took was PCP, 3-MeO-PCP, or even MXE but perhaps another RC dissociative that is less like K/MXE and has more of the madness/insanity of PCP. I've noticed the vendor no longer has MXE listed and I plan to contact them for more information. IF it was MXE, the way I would compare the initial differences is a bit like S-ketamine vs. racemic. Less warm, tingly diffused euphoric and more "clinical" and emotionally cold dissociation/detachment.

I woke up this morning feeling a little tired, but otherwise completely normal. I remember things pretty clearly too , especially the latter effects where my hallucinations were mostly visual.

Have any experienced MXE users had a similar experience?

 

[2c-goinsane]

Had probably the most intense experience of my life last night (aside from ayahuasca in Peru). Not entirely sure it was even MXE.

I'd consider myself very experienced with MXE (though not as much in higher doses). I received a new batch from a different vendor and the effects felt different to previous batches of MXE (I've noticed variation before but not to this extent).

I took about 30mg oral (regular dose, and I had some K tolerance which I normally don't), then approximately 100mg broken into 3 insufflated doses over a few hours since the effects seemed considerably weaker. I had taken a little MPA and EPH and a lot of ketamine (by my standards) the night before but nothing else.

Very little of what I enjoyed about MXE was present, just a bit of disorientation and general sketchy feeling (things felt "off", but not in the way like K or previous experiences with MXE). The after effects of the initial dose lasted longer and just felt sloppy/disconnecting compared to the general clear-headed, energetic stimulation I normally get. My physical coordinated was impaired in a way that was different as well. I also was experiencing many auditory hallucinations (not alterations) which I've never gotten from MXE or K.

Eventually, I just lost the plot completely and panicked thinking I was going to die (possible OD on something mislabelled). Manically pacing around, stripped naked, making a huge mess. My apartment was generally the same, but things looked, and functioned differently. Shortly though nothing was normal. Rather than visual perception being altered, I was hallucinating things that weren't actually there. I wanted to go to the hospital but couldn't find my phone to call 911. I yelled for help, but no one heard. I tried to leave to get help but couldn't (in retrospect, thank god I didn't leave to roam the streets naked in the middle off the night of a major city in this state!). 8(

Luckily I found my xanax. It is pure unweighed powder so almost impossible to dose sober with a milligram scale let alone in my current state. Not sure how much I took, but it was the right amount apparently (had risperidone in the freezer, but that could've been a bad choice).

Very soon after, I was mentally very calm, almost sober-headed and no longer felt in any physical danger (don't know if I ever was or if it was a panic reaction though I think my BP/pulse was elevated and think I had some vasoconstriction as well). Despite being mentally "sober", visually I was still in a complete other reality. Total immersion in another world. Constantly morphing, full or people and spirits though they didn't interact with me. They had a 3D photorealism and solidity while still being malleable (though I couldn't touch them). At this point I knew it wasn't "real" and had no fear, but was actually in awe of the experience amazed how I could manipulate the visions. I felt a bit how an experienced shaman may feel, powerful and comfortable with the "spirits'. The difference from something like ayahuasca or DMT is that rather than being immobilized I was way more physically active than normal. If I moved around I would bump into things in sober reality even though I couldn't see them at all. After randomly stumbling around, and bumping into things I was able to find what I assumed was my bed. After a while more I sobered up mostly and was able to "see" again.

I've never done PCP but I think I was in a similar state to reports I've read. I highly doubt what I took was PCP, 3-MeO-PCP, or even MXE but perhaps another RC dissociative that is less like K/MXE and has more of the madness/insanity of PCP. I've noticed the vendor no longer has MXE listed and I plan to contact them for more information. IF it was MXE, the way I would compare the initial differences is a bit like S-ketamine vs. racemic. Less warm, tingly diffused euphoric and more "clinical" and emotionally cold dissociation/detachment.

I woke up this morning feeling a little tired, but otherwise completely normal. I remember things pretty clearly too , especially the latter effects where my hallucinations were mostly visual.

Have any experienced MXE users had a similar experience?

Sounds like you just had a high dose of MXE to me, but thats just my guess. MXE's effects is very comparable to PCP though(especially 100mg+ doses), A good buddy of mine just recently obtained some quality liquid PCP and agreed that it was very comparable to MXE. He did say he felt that the visuals PCP produces are brighter and stronger/more intense than MXE, also said PCP is more stimulating but surprising really clean.

I have had similar very strong/colorful fully immersed visions where i could control them and manipulate things for hours but thats when i mix MXE with 4-ACO-DMT F., things get to where its hard to describe the experience afterwards or put in words what i seen or felt. I do recall a couple trips on this combo when i was just so excited and amazed. My bottom jaw would just keep dropping with amazement every 5-10 minutes and i would say or mumble something along the lines of "Holy shit, are you kidding me right now" to myself.

I have never had the feeling of i took to much with just MXE even up to 200-300mgs (I'm not saying its safe to dose that high of course just stating i never had the feeling of being in physical danger from the substance alone). The only time i did not like the way i felt and felt as if i was in some physical danger was when i mixed it with some strong cubensis mushrooms but that has a lot to do with stomaching/digesting mushroom fibers imo. But that doesn't mean it cant happen to me anythings possible, i have also heard of others having similar experiences on 100-150mgs of quality MXE.

 

[vortech]

Yeah IME all of that madness can be triggered with 100+ mg MXE in the manner that you dosed it. Don't underestimate it, for the effects vary greatly depending on set/setting, mental state and intentions.

 

[e1evene1even]

What threw me off was mainly the nature of the effects.

I've never had auditory hallucinations on any dose of MXE (let alone in silence). The initial effects and after effects were also different and I've done MXE hundreds of times. If it was simply weaker, by the time I had 2-3 doses it should've been the same as many of my other experiences.

The only thing I can think is that it was a different ratio of stereoisomers, something like tiletamine, or some latent interaction with the MPA/EPH though my last dose was about 20hrs prior. I'll update if I hear anything from the vendor...

 

[vortech]

Is it just me, or is the SMELL of metabolising MXE the most lovely thing? It has a sweetly fragrant scent, almost floral, and it always comes across as innocuous to me. I've smelt many drugs coming out of my pores, and often times it's not an attractive smell, but this, it smells so fresh! I use the scent test to gauge the validity of different batches, and the purest ones have the best smells.

 

[e1evene1even]

After contacting the vendor they informed me that they discovered the batch was too impure to sell so they returned it to their supplier. I guess I was one of the unlucky ones to receive some.

Not evensure I want to know what impurities are coming out of sketchy RC labs in China, but it certainly felt toxic to me. :/

 

[THCified]

^ Those morons...

I hope you're fine now!?

 

[psood0nym]

After contacting the vendor they informed me that they discovered the batch was too impure to sell so they returned it to their supplier. I guess I was one of the unlucky ones to receive some.

Not evensure I want to know what impurities are coming out of sketchy RC labs in China, but it certainly felt toxic to me. :/

You might try asking in ADD what the reason might be. They can't get too detailed, but I'd think someone making educated guesses about synthesis routes could say whether or not there are potential suspected precursors/byproducts. Despite the admitted impurity it hasn't been quantified and your description sounds a lot like a surprise dip in MXE tolerance leading to surprise results and a panic attack.

Read my post from 09-04-2013 and tell me it doesn't sound familiar:

I took a two week break and when I came back MXE was full force. It kept me from going to sleep and I didn't have to work so I just stayed up, said fuck it, and dosed more. The visuals are simply unearthly. When I close my eyes I see intricate nets of growing hairs lacing themselves into nacre pores and billowing anemone-like gelatinous undulations giving way to animated foil waterfalls. Imagine a perfectly translucent and flexible bag with arcane printing on it crumpling in the heat of a fire and that's what I've just witnessed behind my eyes. I can see my hand through my eyelids, but the timing of the movements is off, suggesting imaginative but "delayed time" integration into the psychedelic overlay. I think maybe the visuals are partially decompositions of the afterimage (when I close my eyes the the bright rectangle of my monitor hangs around before being crumpled into organic forms, for instance). The sound of my radiator is accompanied by reverberative chants that spin off wah-wah-wah. Other visuals I really just can't account for, as they almost appear to have humanist themes, but they're nearly plain as day.

It may be that the impurity played a role in your negative experience but the visual aspect seems attributable to MXE. Those visuals I described were both closed and open-eyed. For the open eyed to come through that vividly I have to put myself into a trance but, still, they're right there. As in your experience, auditory hallucinations were noted.

 

[zn13bt]

^ I have seen similar visuals on 3-MeO-PCP, but they were more structurally rigid when they rotated around and I imagined I was looking at things like an alien spaceship with lots of antennas and edges and protuberances jutting off, or the interior of a vast cathedral, studying the interplay of the arches and latticework as I float around inside. I agree that it seems to be afterimages from the edge-detection circuits of the visual cortex, perhaps combined with some parietal lobe activity causing the 3-D rotation effects.

 

[e1evene1even]

Yes, based on previous high doses with MXE I've gotten to a pretty intense state where reality starts breaking down in strange ways and I could imagine had I taken 30-50mg more I could get to the state I was in. I think the impurities left me feeling toxic and caused the panic attack. I noticed some bluing and intense shriveling in my "appendage' which also had me somewhat concerned.

Good idea about posting in ADD, I had thought about that too. Those guys know their stuff.

...And then of course the next morning I get 100 etizolam pellets in the mail, which I'm sure would've helped.
8)

 

[oar9fi]

I got some Chinese MXE where the first couple doses felt toxic & made me much more dizzy and had a "dull" feeling that just didn't feel right. I wasn't expecting it to be any different from the previous batch which I finished the same night. I thought it was strange that it was different after a few doses but wasn't sure why.

Upon opening the last one I caught a whiff of a chemical smell that I'd never noticed before. The smell burned my nose a bit & gave me a headache from just trying to identify the odor. I left the bag open for a week & aired it out and the smell cleared up and the remaining powder had no smell. After these experiences, my guess would be that the impurities are the result of not being dried properly after synthesis. Try leaving it exposed to air & see if it changes the effects. I also thought I may have received the wrong thing but it turned out OK.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

Is it just me, or is the SMELL of metabolising MXE the most lovely thing?

Reminds me of how Jamshyd used to go on about this smell he experienced while on ketamine, and a couple of other arylcyclohexylamines.

 

[Folley]

Dude, I GET THAT SMELL!

Like caramel or some shit right lol? Like a sickly sweet...




Shame to hear about shitty toxic batches, the one I got was absolutely stunning. Broke down into microscopic sized crystals

 

[vortech]

Meditation really helps this stuff flourish to its full potential.

and yeah that last crystal batch hit a new level of purity.

 

[Help?!?!]

Meditation really helps this stuff flourish to its full potential.

It really does! I'd try doing meditation mixed in with yoga, some seriously great stuff there! Meditating whilst moving from position to position feels so astounding, its hard to keep your concentration but MXE made it totally doable for me.

 

[DubNaut]

Is it just me, or is the SMELL of metabolising MXE the most lovely thing? It has a sweetly fragrant scent, almost floral, and it always comes across as innocuous to me. I've smelt many drugs coming out of my pores, and often times it's not an attractive smell, but this, it smells so fresh! I use the scent test to gauge the validity of different batches, and the purest ones have the best smells.

mmm the smell of sweet mexy.

and idk about auditory hallucinations but dissociates definitely effect how you hear things haha

 

[azgaza]

My most recent experiment with MXE has been mostly positive; I still don't prefer it over ketamine, not even close, but its not bad at all. Just very stimulating / dopaminergic yet still a potent dissociative which makes it in a way odder; I combined it with a fair dose of GHB which ended up being utterly disorienting; I did get some nice closed eye visuals but I got barely any vision of reality, huge double vision, dizziness; I probably took around 200 mg of MXE though which even with a high tolerance is probably a bit too much. Unfortunately the combination was nauseating; not vomit inducing nauseating but still rather unpleasant for a while. When I got the dosage a bit lower it started becomming really enjoyable; like a very lively and social and vivid ketamine high, I did notice some effects on my speech capacities on higher doses but not comparable to what I'd get from a similairly dissociative dose of K. All in all this made me even more curious to PCP which I assume is sort of right in the middle between these two with even higher potency.

I do like the longer duration of MXE, still sleep afterwards was fairly easy and the stimulating edge to it makes it much more easy to actually use the inspiration it can give, also the afterglow was amazing, very euphoric and sunny and lasted for a good three days. I'd say this is a good anti-depressant for sure.